Falling Is Like This
by Occam'sRazr
Summary: AU. Set in the future. Alex Kelly has spent years trying to get over Marissa Cooper. Now she’s sent back to Newport, and thrust back into a life she thought she got away from years ago. Malex. It's better than I make it sound. Chapter Fifteen, finally!
1. Names and Dates and Times

**Disclaimer: I don't own the OC. Characters courtesy Josh Schwartz, even though I'm not sure if he deserves them, considering he sends the good ones away…**

**Summary: **Alex Kelly has spent years trying to get over Marissa Cooper. Now she's sent back to Newport, and thrust back into a life she thought she got away from years ago. Malex. Not really sure yet.

---

CHAPTER ONE; Names and Dates and Times

---

I'd spent years trying to get over Marissa Cooper.

After I left Newport, left because I refuse to look at it as running away (I wasn't running, I was simply accepting that Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper were, in fact, one of those couples) I went back to school. It was something else, really; a whole 'nother beast. I didn't lead the charmed life the kids I surrounded myself with when I was in Newport did, but tackling school again sort of made it seem like I had. The thing is, I was always good at school. It wasn't my grades that got me kicked out of three high schools.

It was rough, but I managed. Still, the damage that Marissa had done to my heart manifested itself in more ways than one. Obviously, I didn't attend any pep rallies. The one I tried, just for torturous kicks, sent me to my room with depressing music on high volume for an entire weekend. I couldn't get the images of our break up on the beach out of my head, complete with Atwood's Trojan horse blazing in the background. Not that social event had really been my thing BM (before Marissa) but it had never been _that_ bad before.

I didn't date. Not boys, not girls. They just weren't HER. See, I knew she couldn't possibly be taking it as hard as I was. Not with her social life to lead, and her pep rallies to organize, and the numerous sleeping bags she could be sharing with Atwood. I convinced myself of it.

Eventually though, I got out of the depression stage. You've got to, right? Right.

I went back home to dearest, darlingest Mommy and Daddy. I still don't know whether it was a bout of insanity, or an act of courage. Mom missed me, that much was apparent when she let me in despite the fact that I showed up on her doorstep in the middle of the night (hey, when courage strikes, ride the wave.) Turned out that Mom had kicked Dad to the curb. She'd apparently also long since gotten over her whole "OMG, MY DAUGHTER IS BISEXUAL" flip. I guess all that telling me to be an individual when I was younger finally worked its way back to her. It was great to see her out from Dad's thumb and iron influence.

It was nice for a while, having a Mom. But she was taking her newfound freedom and running with it, setting her life ablaze with a "Carpe Diem!" attitude that would make Mr. Keating proud. I was all for it. I mean, sure, she let Dad kick me out because I was a… well, some things Dad said are better left unquoted, but that didn't mean I had to squash her under _my _thumb now that I was home. Plus, freedom worked for me. There was a point though, and that point was my acceptance into college like it is for most kids, when you move on to bigger and better things- or different things, at least.

I stuck my toes back into the relationship pool in my freshman year of college, but nothing serious. I was a rabid advocate for the one night stand, and there were a string of relationships (flings, of course.) I like to call that the "Rebound Period."

And then there was "The Rebound." Original, I know. She had the same color eyes as Marissa, and a very similar hold over me. I was never quite sure why I was with her though. All I knew was that I pretended more often than not, that she was someone else. _The _someone else. It was bad for me, and I became fully aware of that fact _after _I was rescued.

Oh yes, rescued. Only, my white knight turned out to be an old nightmare revamped. Sort of…. It was Jodie who rescued me. I don't think I'd ever been happier to reconnect with that crazy Latina.

It was impossible for the two of us to be close and nothing happen, at least it was at that point, when we were younger and stupider. We ended up together again, with less drama involved, but this time when we ended it it was a mutual thing. That was sophomore year. We're still friends now. We went out for drinks last weekend.

College was a bust, in my opinion. I got through with a little help from Mom and a lot of bartending (at one point, it was something close to Coyote status.) College did get me where I needed to go, or at least where I ended up, to this office, with the big window and my name on the door… my own personal assistant, who had her hands on my shoulders and was massaging me in a more-than-professional way.

"You're so tense," she whispered throatily in my ear, like she'd done a thousand times. Amy and I, like my last four secretaries, had more than a professional relationship.

"I know," I responded simply, unconsciously leaning into her hands. It had been a long day. She nuzzled her pert little nose into my neck, and I sighed, sliding forward in my leather chair, away from her hands. She wasn't going to be my secretary much longer, and I wondered if she knew that. She was getting too clingy. It wasn't that I had become devoid of all human feelings over the years, but she was supposed to know what this was, which was meaningless and harmless fun. They never seemed to get that though.

I could see her pouting in my computer screen, which had gone black with the screensaver only seconds before. I moved the mouse subtly with my hand, and continued what I was doing, her cue to leave my office.

She took the hint, or so I thought. When she reached the door, she just had to turn and ask, "Are you free tonight, Alex?" in as sultry a tone as she could manage, as if I hadn't developed the talent to see through her attempted manipulations.

I shook my head in response, "Sorry, no."

She sighed an impatient, frustrated little sigh, "No, of course not," and then closed my office door.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she _was _starting to get the hint… then the phone on my desk rang, showing her extension.

I sighed my own frustrated sigh and picked up, "Really, Amy, I have plans."

"I'm not _that_ desperate, Alex. You have a call on line one, it's the boss." Hm. Maybe I'd keep her around a while longer.

"Thanks," I replied, grateful that there was a whole wall between us that meant I didn't have to hide my smirk as she transferred me over to the head honcho of Red Velvet Records, Jackson Carmac.

"Jackson!" I said into the receiver, my smirk escalating into a smile. I was one of those lucky people in the world with a really, really good boss.

"Kelly!" He said back, in his gruff, 'I'm an ex-rock star' voice, using my last name, as he usually did, as a term of endearment. Or so I liked to think.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Carmac?" I asked, returning to the professional note that showed him I was ready to get down to business. Just because he was a cool guy, didn't mean I had free reign, even as his leading PR representative.

"I'm sending you on vacation, kid." He said, and I knew he was smiling too. In Kelly/Carmac terms, 'vacation' meant he was giving me face time with one of the bands; a break from the office work, where I got to spend a little time dealing with live music, my passion.

I tried to hide my excitement, "Where to?" I asked, as nonchalantly as possible, fully aware that he knew I was jumping for joy on the inside. I loved my job, but I especially loved my vacation time.

"You ever been to Newport, Kelly?" Jackson asked.

My heart went cold in my chest, and my stomach dropped.

When I didn't respond, he went on. "Surf, sun, gorgeous people, and a little live music. You'll love it."

No longer was I trying to contain my excitement, now when I spoke, I was trying to contain my dread. "I'm sure it's great, Mr. Carmac."

What were the odds that anyone I knew once upon a time would still be there?

---

**A/N: **I wrote this on a whim, and I'm not really sure if I'm going to continue, but if the urge strikes…


	2. Roll With It

**Disclaimer: I STILL don't own the O.C. (Most) Characters courtesy Josh Schwartz. Thank you, Mr. Schwartz, for creating characters that are made of awesome… Sending Alex away was sucky. **

---

CHAPTER TWO; Roll With It

---

So, my preconceived notions that the chance of me running into the Fab Four again was slim to none turned out to be entirely false. Go figure.

I'd been in Newport all of ten minutes, practically just stepped out of the black town car that was making sure I arrived in one piece, when I heard my name being yelped across the lobby of the five star hotel that was to be my home for the next week.

"Alex?!" The oddly familiar voice assaulted my ears, echoing throughout the entire lobby, turning heads and making me cringe. I'll admit that I seriously debated ducking down and pretending like that wasn't my name, but the owner of the voice and I had history. Besides, there was really nothing different about me since the last time we'd seen each other, except for today I was dressed a little more professionally, and I'd lost the purple streak that was my trademark when I took my job at Red Velvet.

I turned in the direction the sound had come from to see Seth Cohen bounding up to me in a manner that distinctly reminded me of a puppy. Not much had changed about the gangly young man that had been a decent friend the last time I was in town. He looked older, to be sure, and a bit more bedraggled, but his eyes told me that if I were to bring up some comic book right there in the middle of the lobby, he'd be able to tell me all about the last four issues, and when the next one was coming out. Inside, Seth was still eight.

_And three quarters_, some indistinct voice in the back of my head reminded me, and I smiled at him warmly. Even before I'd said a word or he'd said more than my name, and forgetting that only moments ago I'd been planning on pretending I didn't know him, I was glad that of the Four it was Seth that I had to deal with first.

"That's my name," I responded matter-of-factly, and he rolled his eyes. Still, my curt response did little to quell his obvious excitement in seeing me again.

"Are you sure?" He asked, scratching his head with a faux look of confusion on his face, "Didn't you get it changed to 'Never-calls, Never-writes'?" He continued smartly, poking me in the arm in a very Cohen-y way, and I took the opportunity he presented to grab his arm and twist it behind his back, just like the first time we'd met.

"Touch me again, and I'll hurt you," I said into his ear.

"Okay, fine, wha-what do you call this?" He asked, and I released him, my smile wider now.

"I guess some things never change." He said, rubbing his shoulder with his hand, exaggerating the small amount of pain I'd put him through, but he was smiling too. I rolled my eyes and pulled him into a hug.

"Or… maybe they do." He laughed, hugging me back tighter, until I had to tap him and ask him to let me go.

"Uh... Seth?"

"Oh, oh, right. Too much love? Sorry, I forgot you're not into the cuddly thing. Just to point out a fact though, you did start it, hugging me first and everything. You know there's a potential for disaster when you take risks without thinking of the conseq-" I had to punch him in the arm to shut him up.

"Ow. That could have been solved without _more_ violence, don't you think?"

"No, I really don't think so, Cohen."

"Ouch, resorting to the use of the last name? Could you hurt me anymore in five minutes? You sound like Su-"

I cut him off again, "Don't you dare say Summer," I cautioned, raising an eyebrow.

He just laughed, "Summer who?" he asked, not so subtly scratching his chin with his left hand and flashing a wedding band at me, earning him another eye roll. Seth Cohen was such a girl.

"You know who."

"Ohhh, you mean my wife, Summer? Summer _Cohen_? That Summer?"

I resisted the urge to smack him upside the head, even though I was aching to do it. "Yes, that Summer. Congratulations, Seth. I always knew you two were destined to be together, ever since I saw that whole book of drawings you did of her as a scantily clad super hero…"

It was his turn to roll his eyes, "This coming from the girl who doesn't believe in destiny. Of course, I'm going to pretend that that little exchange was something not out of Jealous-land, and say 'Why, thank you, Alex!' very enthusiastically. Observe."

He was silent for a moment, and then, "Why, thank you, Alex!"

I just shook my head.

"Well, Seth, as great as it was seeing you…" I started, only to be interrupted by a voice that was too girly to be Seth's coming from behind me.

"Don't think you're getting out of things that easily, little miss punk rock." The spunky brunette we'd just been talking about appeared at Seth's side, pulling him down by his collar to kiss him on the cheek before returning her attention to me.

"Suuuummer, great to see you!" I said, with another smile for Summer Roberts…err, Cohen. It wasn't quite as honestly grateful as the one for Seth had been, but I was still glad that two out of four were down and I'd lucked out and got the easy two.

"Uh huh, you too, Alex. Now, cutting the faux-heartfelt little reunion here," She continued, but smirked at me to let me know she was joking, at least about that part, "I'm going to ask the question that I'm sure we're," she elbowed Seth, who was watching something behind me, "dying to know. What are you doing here?" Summer…you almost forgot how to the point she was.

"I'm here on business." I told her truthfully, after all, there was no use in lying. "I'm a PR Rep for Red Velvet Records, and we've got a band coming down here to Newport."

"Faaaaccinating," Seth commented from beside Summer, which earned him another elbow in the ribs. Today just wasn't his day. "What?! I was being polite!"

Summer ignored him, "So you're going to be here for a while?" She asked.

"About a week," I nodded, hands in the pockets of my pinstriped slacks, wondering where she was taking this conversation. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that she had some kind of ulterior motive; these were probably the most words we'd ever spoken to each other.

"Oh!" Seth suddenly started up again from beside her, "You should come with us to Ma-"

"SETH," Summer interrupted him- there was a lot of that going on- and he shut up immediately. If I would have been paying more attention to the taller of my old friends, I might have picked up what he almost let slip, or on the underlying tone of the exchange. As it was, I was too busy trying to figure Summer out than to hang on the details of Seth's every word.

"Anyways, you won't be working the whole time, right? You get some time off?"

I nodded again. I didn't have to babysit the band the whole time I was there. I had some time between my arrival and theirs too, in order to make sure they would be taken care of while they were here. And, because I was good at my job, I was even in Newport a day earlier than I had to be… No, there was no other reason for my arriving early. It was habit, and as much as I was dreading this trip, I wasn't going to let the location deter me from normalcy.

"Well, you should come with us to this art show tomorrow night!" She said, with a genuine smile. "There's a short lecture thing beforehand, but the art is supposed to be really amazing, and there'll be food. Think you can make it? For old time's sake? I mean, I know Seth wants to catch up." Seth nodded in agreement beside her. She had him trained well.

I shrugged, "What the heck, why not?" and Seth beamed.

"Awesome!" He opened his arms and leaned in for another hug, and I just raised my eyebrows at him.

"Too soon?" He asked, and I nodded. He looked down at his toes dejectedly for a moment, but then his fit of depression passed, and he smiled again. "I'm _going_ to get another one."

Summer and I both rolled our eyes.

"Anyway, Alex, really good to see you, but this dork I call a husband and I have to get going. Important business to attend to…" She linked her arm with Seth's and turned them around. Seth looked back over his shoulder, and mouthed the words 'dress shopping' at me and I laughed.

"Have fun you two!" I called after them, prompting Summer to stop them in their tracks, and toss one final sentiment at me.

"Oh! And Alex? You look good." I shook my head as they continued on, and Seth shouted over his shoulder, "Dress nice, see you at seven!" apparently determined to have the last word.

So I was going to have a little fun in Newport after all. It was an art show, how much trouble could I possibly get in? How much drama could actually go down? Famous last words…

---

**A/N: **Thanks to I always park right here, MalexFan91, and haelthy for reviewing! It inspired me to write a little more and, apparently, for ideas to form in my head. I'm pretty sure I'll be continuing the story, although I'm not entirely sure where it's going yet. The ideas for the next chapter are already jumping around, so look forward to that in the near future. Hope you enjoyed this one! ^_^


	3. She Says

**Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say that it's not mine? Because it kind of hurts… plus, if the OC was mine, Alex and Marissa would still be together.**

---

CHAPTER THREE; She Says

---

I didn't usually worry about what to wear, but I knew Newport's version of 'nice' was basically a black tie event. Still, I had never been one to follow the guidelines set down by the Newpsies and I wasn't going to start just because I had a few more years under my belt. I went for 'California casual' in one of my numerous pairs of pinstriped slacks, a black button down, pinstriped vest, and a white tie. At least there was some effort being made, and if they couldn't appreciate that, well… well, we all know I didn't care what they thought.

To be honest, I was a little nervous about this art show. I didn't know what my odds were that Marissa was in town, and the last chance I'd taken at guessing my odds had made me wonder about my capacity for it. I thought it was safe to assume that I was over her after all this time, but being back in Newport had me as nervous as a mouse when a cat is around. I'll admit that I wanted to see Seth again, though, to catch up and see what was new with him. He'd always been fairly easy for me to get along with, after I got used to him and his Cohen-y charm.

So, all in all, it was Seth Cohen that got me out of my hotel room. I know… weird.

***

I opted to just meet Seth and Summer at the gallery where this thing was being held. Seth texted me the address (like a "grown up," or so he said) and I repeated it to my driver, who seemed to know his way around Newport. I guess he had to, considering that was kind of his job. It was pretty strange sitting in the back seat of a car, just watching this town I once thought I knew like the back of my hand pass me by like nothing had changed except for my position in life. I wasn't one of _them _now, because I had a driver; I always remembered where I came from, and how hard I worked to get where I was. I liked to think that that made me different from the rich kids that lived in this town. Even though I knew they all weren't superficial, the majority of the ones I'd met during my brief stint here had skewed my opinion a little. But even I wasn't too stubborn to give this town a second chance. I'd be spending a week here after all, so I might as well not go in with a grudge.

I must have been thinking harder than I realized, because at some point I'd stopped paying attention to the world outside my window, and we'd arrived at some elegant art gallery I'd never seen before. I guess Newport couldn't have completely stayed the same. I stepped out of the car and realized that there was a bouncer with a list at the door for this thing. Then I realized that my name wasn't going to be _on_ the list, and cursed myself for not just coming with Seth and Summer. Still, if I could get in, this wouldn't be the first bouncer I'd ever convinced. In college I'd gotten Jodie and I into some clubs with lists our names were definitely _not _on. But this was Newport, I had to remind myself.

"Name?" The bouncer asked pointedly, just like he'd asked the four people that had went in ahead of me.

"Alex Kelly." I told him, in a similar tone. He looked me up and down, and I could see the obvious distaste in his expression. I was well aware of the fact that I was better looking than anyone with his lack of brain cells could ever hope to have, so I assumed it was my attire that was unsatisfactory. I rolled my eyes as he looked down at his ridiculous little clipboard.

"You're not on the list." No surprise there. I hadn't exactly been planning on attending this event before yesterday.

"I'm with Seth and Summer Cohen," I told him casually, "I know their names are on the list." He looked at me suspiciously, and looked down at his list again.

I could tell when he got to Cohen, because he tapped the list before he looked back up, "Cohen's only down for two, and you said your name was Kelly."

_No shit, Sherlock _I thought, and was just starting to wonder if this art show was really worth it when someone came up from behind me. This was the second time in two days that people were suddenly appearing from behind me out of nowhere. It was getting a little annoying.

An arm slipped through mine, and the voice of the girl who'd once stolen my heart said from beside me, "She's with me," and I that's when I became completely convinced I was dreaming.

---

**A/N: **My apologies for the shortness of this chapter, especially after the wait! But it seemed like the right place to stop. Plus, I'm sure you're all so pleased that Marissa is back, that you can conveniently overlook the shortness ;)


	4. Angry Anymore

**Disclaimer: All I own are my Season 2 DVDs!**

---

CHAPTER FOUR; Angry Anymore

---

Needless to say, I was very VERY confused. And amazed. And... Excited. And… well, mostly confused. I don't think a coherent thought formed in my head as the bouncer lifted the stupid little velvet rope (like this was a club instead of an art gallery) and Marissa gently pulled me along through the door with her. It only registered later that the doorman hadn't asked her name like he had mine and everyone else's, and that he hadn't questioned her. I was too lost to notice it when it happened.

I'm sure I've mentioned that I thought, after all this time, that I was over her. For what was the umpteenth time in the past couple of days, I was proven wrong. There was electricity between us, my arm tingling where it was touching hers- actually, that whole side of my body was humming. The erratic pace of my heart only aided in showing that my feelings for her were apparently still the same as they were when I left her on that beach when she was in high school. I was still going to try and play it cool tonight. Of course, I was so busy convincing myself that I was capable of being cool that I didn't realize that Marissa had said anything until she was laughing at me.

"You can't possibly _still _be mad at me after all these years, Alex Kelly," she said matter-of-factly with a sly smile that I'm pretty sure would have melted my heart had I been mad at her still.

I found my voice again in another moment, "Oh, I _could _be," I told her, but smiled to show her that I was kidding. I'd never been mad at her in the first place- it was Atwood that I cursed for everything, not Marissa.

"Even after I got you into this fancy art show?" she asked, playing along.

"Hmm…" I hummed, 'thinking' about it. I was really noticing how oddly comfortable this little exchange was, so different from the million times I had pictured it in my head. Then we entered the gallery completely (previously walking down a hallway). Marissa released my arm, and I finally took a second to get a good look at her. My breath caught in my throat. She was gorgeous. I'd always thought so, of course, from the moment I'd met her, but _damn_.

She was wearing a black designer (don't ask me which one) dress and Christian Louboutin (I DO know that one) heels, simple but elegant. Gorgeous wasn't really covering it, but it was as accurate as I could get. I wanted to compliment her, but I didn't know what to say or how she would take it. I had to say something, though, as it was my turn to speak. Plus, I couldn't just stand there gaping like a goldfish.

"You're beautiful," I managed finally, instantly regretting it and hoping I didn't sound completely stupid, or even worse, like I was hitting on her… even though I might have been.

A blush crept to her cheeks, and she looked down at her toes for a brief instant, and then back up at me, "Thanks," she said sincerely, and that blush was just freaking adorable. _Shit. _I wasn't around her more than five minutes, and I was already back to this.

"You don't look too bad yourself," she commented, and I knew she was sizing me up with that irresistible look, even though I wasn't looking at her anymore. I couldn't, because I'd just fall in love with her all over again and neither one of us needed that.

"You don't have to lie to me; I'm totally underdressed for this party." I laughed a little, it sounded nervous to me but if Marissa noticed it didn't show.

I chanced a glance at her, and her eyebrow was raised curiously, "You haven't changed and decided that you care what all these people think, have you? _My _Alex didn't used to mind." She certainly had a way with words. If I didn't know better, I'd have probably thought she was _trying _to drive me insane. I needed to find Seth and Summer quickly. Actually, I had my fingers crossed for a bail-out of any kind that didn't involve death or Ryan Atwood.

We'd been standing there awkwardly for a little under a minute when Seth and Summer finally decided to show up. Seth had a conspiratorial smile on his face that I just didn't like.

"Sorry we're late! But it looks like you two found each other." He said, with no attempt to wipe the smile from his face. I was going to kill him.

Summer and Marissa hugged and euro-kissed each other's cheeks. I relaxed a little. Now that it wasn't just the two of us, the air was easier to breathe and it was easier to think straight. I wasn't drowning anymore- saved by the Cohens. If I didn't have the sudden urge to wipe that conspiratorial smile off of his face, I might have thanked him.

Instead, I asked, "So, does this place have a bar?" just loud enough for Seth to hear while Marissa was distracted.

His smile fell a little; obviously whatever he had planned had seemingly been ruined by my question. "Just champagne, fortunately for the rest of us." I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but coming out of Seth it wasn't all that strange. Many a person had been confused at the words coming out of Seth Cohen's mouth. My mind unwillingly took me back to the last time I'd had a bit too much to drink here in Newport. Bottles had been chucked at people (well, Ryan). Not fun times. It wasn't my fault that I was overprotective. I was able to sympathize with the younger-in-my-head version of me. I'd been right to worry after all, even if it had seemed unjustified to everyone else back then.

Now-me just wanted to go back in time and stop then-me from ever falling in love with Marissa. It would have saved me a million sleepless nights, and the awkwardness between us now. I was aware it was a silly thing to wish for, because Marissa was a part of the reason I was who I was today, but I doubt I was the first person who ever thought about going back to undo a relationship so they could spare themselves the heartbreak.

"Oh God you guys, I have to go!" Marissa was looking down at her phone, checking the time. I raised an eyebrow, but Seth and Summer just nodded. "See you in there!" Summer hugged her goodbye and then she was off, and I was watching her go.

"Cohen!" I narrowed my eyes and both of them turned to face me. That was actually a little comical. "Why am I so out of the loop here? If I didn't know better, I would say you knew Marissa was going to be here, and that you're late on purpose, and… where the heck did she need to go so quick?" I asked, and that stupid grin showed up on Seth's face again. I knew it was my last question that caused it, but I just put my hands on my hips, channeling my mother, and waited for his answer. Summer knew I wasn't talking to her, and she just rolled her eyes and followed Marissa's lead.

Seth tugged at the collar of his shirt, "Look, Alex, we're friends aren't we? And friends want what's best for other friends, especially when other friends are involved and one friend can make the other friend happy, if they realized that their other friend was just trying to make everything better."

I closed my eyes and tried to decipher some of what he'd just said, but I wasn't having much luck. I wasn't trying that hard, really. My mind was wandering, and bouncing and humming with thoughts of Marissa, no matter how hard I tried to squish them and think straight. "… What?"

"Forget it. Yes, I knew Marissa was going to be here, but Summer wouldn't let me tell you. She's in on it too!" He exclaimed, throwing his wife under the bus.

"And your convenient tardiness?" I asked.

"That was actually coincidence." Both of my eyebrows went up this time. "Scout's honor," he promised, holding up three fingers in the Boy Scout salute.

"And… the last question?" I didn't want to ask it out loud again. I knew he knew which question I was talking about.

"That's what this whole night is about! Well, other than getting the two of you back together." His eyes widened, apparently he wasn't supposed to give that away, and I punched him in the arm.

"Way to go, Boy Scout. That's not going to happen." I honed in on the second part of his answer because I didn't understand the first part. Jeez he was being annoyingly confusing. I guessed that I was going to have to get used to his weirdness all over again, obviously I was out of practice.

"No, no, of course not. I mean, just a bored guy's version of having a little fun at this thing they call an art show. But we should really be getting inside this little hall here, following Summer, and your girl."

I punched him again.

"_Okay! What _is with the violence?!"

"She was never mine, Seth." I said solemnly, and followed after Summer.

He said something behind me, that sounded a bit like "That's what you think," but I wasn't paying close enough attention.

**---**

**A/N:** Thanks to haelthy, LivWilde (LOVE the name), thefrick, I always park right here, and CustomHeroine (thanks for stopping back by, that was cool of you) who reviewed, and to those who are reading and adding this to your story alert list. Drop me a line telling me what you think via review, I promise it's not that bad. So, I'm curious, Ryan or no Ryan? What do you guys think?


	5. The True Story of What Was

**Disclaimer: I'm going to stop saying it now, but it doesn't make it any less true. **

---

CHAPTER FIVE; the True Story of What Was

---

I took the seat that was open on Summer's left, giving clear indication that Seth was in the doghouse. She raised an eyebrow curiously, but I just shrugged and settled into my seat. She looked like she was going to say something, but Seth tripped on his way over just as Marissa walked out onto the small raised platform that these chairs were facing. This night was full of surprises. I wasn't stupid, so it only took me a moment (which quite likely would have been less had I not been staring at Marissa and trying to think at the same time) to realize that this was _her_ show. A few things clicked into place, and I shook my head, scolding myself for not putting two and two together sooner.

I wasn't aware that she was into art, enjoying or creating, but I'd been gone a long time. She'd had years to develop interests that I might never had discovered if it hadn't been for the odd string of coincidences (or fate, whatever) that had befallen me. And it wasn't like I had ever really known every detail about her. I'd kill to say I knew her best in the brief stint that we'd dated, but Marissa was always a mystery. I'd known her habits, what her expressions meant, and what to do for her without her having to tell me. I could tell when she was upset at the drop of a hat, but I couldn't tell you her history. I couldn't make a list of what she liked that took up more than a page. It seems tragic, depressing even, but the fact was that we simply hadn't had enough time together for me to get to know her like I wanted to.

I could see out of the corner of my eye that Seth was leaning over Summer, trying to talk to me. She kept pushing him back in his seat, her eyes on Marissa like mine were. She'd started talking up there, but it was hard for me to pay attention to what she was actually saying with this being the first opportunity I'd had to check her out in years. I heard clips of what she was saying; talking about art and some of the pieces I'd yet to see. Then she locked eyes with me, and I was suddenly interested in the words.

"… Some of the pieces you might not understand, but some of them you will. Almost every single one represents an important part of my life." She broke eye contact after that, and went on to make a joke about how she probably shouldn't have mentioned it, lest she put us off from the art. It was nice to see her smile up there as the people in the seats around me applauded.

We were released to admire the art then, and I lost track of Marissa. I wandered through the gallery, looking but not really seeing. I suppose I was waiting for something to jump out at me, for a piece to simply scream my name or draw me to it. The way she'd said it up there, and the way fate had been playing me lately, made it seem like I'd get pointed in the right direction with little initiative on my part. So I wandered aimlessly, the only goal was avoiding Cohen… er… Seth.

Apparently I looked lonely, because I wasn't wandering aimlessly _alone_ for a while before some guy who may or may not have been good looking made his way over. I watched him do it out of the corner of my eye, seeing him long before he "casually" stood beside me as I tried to make sense of an abstract piece (I know, redundant).

"You must be tired, 'cause you've been running through my mind _all_ night." He said lamely, with a stupid cocky smirk on his face like he _hadn't_ just used a _lame_ pick-up line on me.

"Not as tired as your lines, pal." I offered a clear brush-off of his advance. If you could call it that. It was more like a lame half a step in my direction that he should have been thinking of taking back almost immediately. Talk about putting your foot in your mouth.

His smile faltered, but apparently he wasn't getting the idea. Of course not… _Men_. He opened his mouth to say something else, but I stopped him before he could start.

"Did your friends dare you to come over here or something?" I asked, waving vaguely at the group of men (although perhaps boys is more appropriate) snickering off to one side.

"Nah, I was drawn in like a magnet to its… other magnet." _Even lamer than the first time, way to go, Stud. _

"Uh huh…" I just looked at him for a moment, and then turned around and started to walk away.

"Wait, wait!" He called, a little louder than completely necessary. I don't know why, but I stopped, and turned back halfway to look at him.

"Yes?"

"It's just… well, how about you tell me your name?" he asked, and I raised an eyebrow. How he thought we had hit it off well enough that he could get a name out of me, I had no idea. But I gave it to him anyway.

"Alex Kelly."

He held out a hand, and I slid mine into my pockets, leaving him looking seriously stupid waiting to shake hands with the air.

"Well, Miss Kelly, it was nice to meet you?" It came out sounding like a question. This guy was 0 for 3.

"It's Mr. Kelly to you." I told him, hoping he'd get the hint and take the message back to his buddies over there in the corner. Sure, it would get around the whole gallery that the chick in the vest was a lesbian, but at least the guys wouldn't bother me for the rest of the night… unless that started the girls hitting on me instead. There really was no winning.

Mr.-completely-fell-on-his-face looked perplexed for a moment, and then the meaning of what I said hit him. I could see the light bulb flickering on in his brain.

"Oh, I, uh…" he faltered, stuttering and looking all kinds of awkward. Just what I was going for.

"Run along now," I said, waving him off and turning around to find some more of Marissa's art to occupy myself with, preferably in a less lame sector of the gallery.

***

I'd been right in waiting for the exact piece of art to come to me. After a while of letting my feet meander where they may, I stumbled upon a painting that fascinated me. It had to have been the one Marissa meant when she'd locked eyes with me, because of all the pieces this was the one that stood out. It was a mostly dark canvas, and difficult to decipher at just a glance.

I stood there for a minute before the picture came together in my mind, and when it did, I smiled. There were two silhouettes on the beach, with the moon hanging high and full over the dark ocean, where waves were rolling in. They licked at the feet of the silhouettes, but neither of the shadows seemed to take notice. They looked wrapped up in each other… well, as far as ghostly dark outlines can look wrapped up. It helped to know the inspiration behind the art, and I was sure I knew this one.

It took another moment to realize that the main focus of the painting was framed in a faded silver heart. I reactively reached to my neck, feeling for a necklace that I had long since ceased to wear. My hand fell back to my side after an instant, and I was hit with a pang I hadn't felt for quite some time. I had half a mind to turn and walk back the way I came, continue out the door and into the night, but something kept me there. I observed the painting with a more intense eye, as if the spirit of a painter had taken possession of my body and willed me to look at it with a fresh perspective.

Before long, my eyes came to rest on grouping of small, silver letters at the bottom of the canvas. I leaned in and read what was there. _The Tide Turned, Marissa Cooper. _I went as far as to rub my fingers along the little letters, words that I'd said once upon a time. Once upon a time. I used that a lot to describe the relationship I'd had with Marissa. Hardly fairytale, because we hadn't lived happily ever after, but it always seemed fantasy, at least.

Time slipped by while I was standing there; I imagine it was quite a bit, because before I knew it a pair of hands was slipping over my eyes and the world went dark. I snapped back to reality, startled. The person didn't say anything; they just waited patiently, their warm breath on my neck. It would have been uncomfortable, had I not settled in on whom it was nearly immediately after I recovered from the yank out of my trace-like state.

The hands were slight, and soft. Obviously a girl, but I didn't even need that much. Even the breath was somewhat familiar, but what really gave it away was the scent. Sweet, but not floral. Marissa wasn't the floral perfume type; she smelled delicious naturally.

I removed her hands from over my eyes carefully, and then turned an about-face to find her pouting slightly. I almost laughed… out of sheer terror. She had this way of getting what she wanted out of me by pouting like that… well, she used to. That's what set my resolve. This was years later, no longer did she have me wrapped around her finger.

"You didn't even guess."

"Didn't have to," I replied, with a shrug. She didn't like that much, I could see the disapproval in her eyes.

"Not enjoying the art?" She asked, assuming this was the reason for my curt response. Of course she wouldn't be able to see the true reason behind the walls I had just barricaded myself behind. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing more between us. In my head, anyway.

"Oh, no, it's fine. Better than fine. This one's not bad." I titled by head toward the painting that had me enraptured for that indefinite number of consecutive minutes.

A small smirk came to play on her lips, "It's one of my favorites," she said, but that was all.

"Want to walk with me? I haven't finished this side yet." I asked nonchalantly, as if I wouldn't particularly enjoy the company, but neither would it bother me to have her along, or so I was shooting for.

"Sure," she answered, and I half expected her to link arms with me again and lead me down amongst the paintings for an insider's view on the art. But she just waited for me to set the pace, and so I set out with her beside me, glad that the art gave me something to look at, something to keep me from looking at her. I knew I wasn't going to find any more pieces quite like the one I had just had my eyes on, but that was okay.

"So, how long are you in Newport?" Marissa asked me after a shot while, and I could tell she'd practiced acting as if she didn't care either way what the answer was.

"Just passing through," I said, motioning to the painting hanging on the wall just behind her. It was a heart, with a long, winding road snaking its way through. Ironic.

"Oh?" She prompted, which demolished her attempts at nonchalance. I hoped that mine were better.

"I'm just here for work." I told her, then thought about what I said, "Well, not _just_ for work." I corrected, not sure why I was correcting the truth, but either way it was nice to imagine that she was pleased when I changed my answer.

"Maybe we could-"

"Marissa! Marissa!" A voice called from the outside world (which consisted of someone outside the Alex-Marissa bubble). Both of our heads turned in the direction of the voice. A tall young man with floppy blonde hair was making his way over to us. Thankfully it wasn't Ryan, or I probably would have just walked away and gone to jump off a cliff. I really didn't need to see Atwood tonight.

"Friend of yours?" I asked the rhetorical question, and she chuckled.

"I guess you could say that."

The boy was huffing and puffing when he got to us, slightly disheveled. "I made it!" He announced, as if that wasn't obvious from his presence.

"I can see that." Marissa said what I was thinking from beside me. She reached out and fixed his tie and smoothed his floppy hair so he'd look more presentable. I was confused, but didn't mention it. Patience was a new thing I was trying out.

The boy blushed, and shook his head in an attempt to further arrange his hair. "Told you I would," he said with a smile at Marissa that was brimming with… admiration?

"Man of your word, that's nice." I commented, more to myself than anything. Blondie finally turned his attention in my direction, and there was the unmistakable hint of either jealousy or anger hiding there. It wasn't the first time someone had taken an immediate dislike to me, but I'd hardly said a word to prompt his. I just shrugged internally, you couldn't win everyone's affection, and some people were just born to be enemies.

He didn't say anything to me; he just turned his attention back to Marissa. "So, could you show me that piece you were talking about?"

Marissa got very excited beside me, "Oh, Alex! I promised I'd show him!" She squeezed my arm and looked at me apologetically.

"Uh, sure…" I replied, a bit confused as to what was going on, having lost my train of thought when her hand landed on my bicep.

She started forward, but then stopped in her tracks. "Alex, I want to catch up, while you're here." I nodded in silent agreement; I wanted to see her again, of course.

"Can we go for coffee or something?" She asked, eyes shining.

"Sure. Are you free… day after tomorrow?" I asked, mentally checking my schedule.

"It's a date," She smiled, and then turned to Blondie.

"Do you have a pen?" She asked him, and he procured one unhappily (I could tell) from the depths of his pockets. Marissa took it from him, and then took my arm in her hands, uncapping the pen with her teeth, and pulling up my sleeve. She wrote her number on my arm, as if we were in high school.

"I think napkins are classier," I said with a chuckle, and she rolled her eyes.

"I think you're lucky to be getting my number at all, Miss Kelly." She winked at me, and capped the pen, blowing gently on the ink and making my skin tingle.

"Is that so?" I asked, all of a sudden dreading the end of this conversation when she would walk off with Blondie and leave me standing there branded with her number on my arm and her words replaying in my mind.

"You know it." She pulled my sleeve back down, pulled me in for a quick hug, and was gone before I knew what hit me, with Blondie in tow. I didn't remember her being so hurricane-esque. I could still feel the pressure of her fingers on my arm and her cool breath on my skin. I shook my head to clear it.

I would not start this again

…

I refused to start this again

…

I was going to be up all night.

---

**A/N: **My apologies for the excessive amount of waiting you all had to do for this chapter! All my writing is based off of inspiration that I have to wait for after a while, and it took this long to make it to me. We should have a conference with my muse. Anyways, I believe it's a unanimous "NO-RYAN!" vote, and so we'll see what I can do with that. I aim to please or something along those lines. Also wanted to say thanks to CustomHeroine, LivWilde, haelthy, comedowntome., Beautifully Flawed, kaila5707, chismes Shelby-WakingTheDemon and caesaraugusta for reviewing! You guys are rad. And yes, I plan to mention you all by name for as long as possible. Feel free to keep the feedback coming, as I'm sure you're all aware that writers live on it. Plus, it makes people happy! And that is a good, good thing.


	6. The Whole Night

CHAPTER SIX; the Whole Night

---

I didn't stay long after Marissa left with Blondie. I stopped back by my painting then located Seth and Summer to thank them for inviting me to the show. I was in a haze, and completely forgot I was supposed to be mad at Seth.

"We're glad you came," Summer told me.

"I'm glad I came too," and I was, even thought I wasn't sure I was supposed to be. I was thankful that my sleeve was hiding the number on my arm, no reason for them to know the exact reason why I was so pleased.

I was out the door after that, the cool Newport night air kissing my skin until I stepped into my car. I pulled my sleeve back up and my phone out of my pocket once the door was closed and we were on our way "home." I put her under simply _Marissa, _no last name required. Then I sent her a text, short and to the point.

_This is my number, _

_Feel free to use it whenever._

_-Alex_

***

I had the seven digits memorized by the time my head hit the pillow back in my room. I was tired, but I was thinking too much to actually fall asleep. I hated that, it happened too often. I was an insomniac, a night owl. It explained my fascination with bars, where you couldn't tell what time it was unless you looked at the clock. That had been a plus of working at the Bait Shop; it always seemed like night in there.

After staring at the ceiling for a good long while, I reached over and grabbed my IPod off of the nightstand and hit shuffle. Unless there was a song I particularly wanted to hear, hitting shuffle was a habit. I loved all of the music on the device; otherwise I wouldn't have put it there. I didn't understand why people were so picky when it came to choosing songs. Music had always found me.

_Look at me, my depth perception must be off again_

'_Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did_

_It has not healed with time_

_It just shot down my spine_

_You look so beautiful tonight_

_It reminds me how you laid us down_

_And gently smiled before you destroyed my life_

_Would you find it in your heart_

_To make this go away_

_And let me rest in pieces_

I hit the skip button. No need to torture myself overanalyzing the reasons why Saliva's _Rest in Pieces _was the song my IPod decided to play.

_Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

My IPod was failing me. I had to skip _My Immortal_ too.

_Find me here and speak to me_

_I want to feel you, I need to hear you_

_You are the light that's leading me to the place_

_Where I find peace_

_Again_

_You are the strength that keeps me walking_

_You are the hope that keeps me trusting_

_You are the light into my soul_

_You are my purpose_

_You're everything_

_And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_

_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

_You calm the storms and you give me breath_

_You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall_

_You still my heart, and you take my breath away_

_Would you take me in? _

_Take me deeper now_

I turned it off and tossed it lightly back onto the nightstand. So it obviously wasn't music that I needed to get to sleep tonight, if I'd be getting any. The next best remedy was TV, and I turned it on once I located the remote. I wasn't normally a channel surfer, but you never knew what you were going to come across at… well, it was getting close to 1am. I knew what I was doing. I was trying to avoid thinking about her. Trying to pretend I couldn't still feel the ink on my arm where the numbers had been before I washed them off in the shower.

I settled in with an old show. One of those ones that you watch when you're younger, and that make you feel better when you're older and up in the middle of the night, surprised to find that there's a marathon on. _Angel_. It wasn't the more compelling _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_, but the spin-off had its own perks. I smiled; I could escape in these old episodes. Plus, there were a couple of my favorites back to back.

_Sanctuary, _there wasn't much Eliza Dushku couldn't fix for me.

_Angel: I once told you you didn't have to go into that darkness. Remember? That it was your choice. Well, you chose. You thought you could just touch it. That you'd be okay. Five-by-five, right, Faith? But it swallowed you whole- So tell me – how'd you __like__ it?_

_Faith: Help me._

By far one of my favorite episodes, this one had quite a few deep scenes.

_Faith: So, how does this work?_

_Angel: There's really no simple answer to that. I won't lie to you and say it'll be easy. Just because you've decided to change doesn't mean the world will be ready for you to. And the truth is, no matter how many good deeds you do to try and make up for the past—you may never balance out the cosmic scale. The only thing I can promise you... is that you'll probably be haunted. And maybe for the rest of your life. _

I'd always liked Faith, and not just because of whom she was played by. She had depth.

_Buffy: I gave you every chance! I tried so hard to help you and you spat on me! My life was just something for you to play with. Angel, Riley… anything you could take from me you took. I never lost battles but nobody else ever made me a victim._

_Faith: And you can't stand that. You're all about control. You got no idea what it's like on the other side, where nothing's in control, nothing makes sense. There's just pain, and hate, and nothing you do ever means anything and you can't… even…_

I fell asleep somewhere in between there and the end of the episode. I wasn't upset when I woke up and some episode I didn't remember quite as well was playing in the background. I pressed a button on my phone to get it to light up, and checked the time. It was just after three. I sighed and rested my head back into my pillow, pulling another over my face. Angel had helped me escape for a while, but now I was back to square one.

What was I supposed to do about Marissa? About this "date" (if that's really what it was)? About all of these feelings I was supposed to have gotten over? Why were they all resurfacing like it was only yesterday that we left everything on the beach?

I tossed the pillow across the room and turned off the TV.

It hurt. My heart was aching, and I could feel my head begin to do the same as all of the questions I had started swirling in my brain. I was wondering if she was having the same issues I was, or if she'd already called Ryan to laugh about running into me again. I was half convinced that she hadn't meant it, that the number she'd given me wouldn't connect if I tried to call, which was why she'd never texted back. I was paranoid, but Marissa had always made me that way. It went hand in hand with not wanting to lose her- with loving her.

I was driving myself insane.

And then my phone vibrated and lit up the darkness.

_Even at three in the morning?_

_-M_

I laughed. I literally laughed out loud. All of that paranoia washed away with just that simple question.

_Even at three in the morning._

It was a few minutes before she texted back.

_Good to know._

_-M_

Suddenly it wasn't so hard for me to fall asleep.

---

**Disclaimer:**I don't own _Buffy_, or _Angel_, those belong to the amazing Joss Whedon. I just wanted to play around with the script a little bit. I also don't own Apple, but if I did I'd be making BANK even just sitting here and writing this story. Lyrics belong to Saliva, Evanescence, and Lifehouse respectively.

**A/N: **I'll start with the honorary mentions. Thanks to Shelby-WakingTheDemon, LivWilde (I think the ink part was my favorite, and look, we got Alex's thoughts! I think you may be a mind reader…), thefrick, CustomHeroine (_I'M_ honored that you keep reading!), Rajuu, bigblusky, and caesaraugusta for reviewing. Also, thanks to anyone who has this story on their alerts list, feel free to drop lines via review guys. If the excessive amount of quoting this chapter bugged anyone… you should have skipped it. Anyone who hasn't watched Buffy/Angel should go get started like, yesterday. See you all soon!


	7. In Or Out

CHAPTER SEVEN; In Or Out

---

I got a call early the next morning that really could be seen as a blessing or a curse, I wasn't sure which. Most of me was glad, ecstatic even, but the tentative part of me – the part of me that got burned- that came out when I was dealing with anything involving Marissa (recently rediscovered) was a little worried.

"Kelly, I've got some bad news and some good news," Good ol' reliable Jackson, jumping straight to the point.

"Bad news first," I told him, squinting as I opened the curtains and let in some of the barely-there sunlight.

"I figured," he started, coughed, and then got back to me. My boss was a smoker, and these fits of coughing were a digression that one got used to.

"Sorry. Look, I dunno if you've seen anything yet, but I'm sure they'll be covering it on all the damn channels," the only channels important to Jackson Carmac were the news stations, and anything that covered the music industry. He had a personal vendetta against TMZ.

"Danny got busted for possession of Class A contraband when he was getting on the plane in Dublin."

I winced; that was seriously bad news. Danny was the lead singer for the band I was in Newport on behalf of, and this wasn't the first time he's been caught with drugs- there would be consequences this time.

"What's the damage?" In the back of my mind I was running through the list of Class A drugs, and settled in on Coke.

"They locked him up. We'll bail him out, but I've half a mind to leave him in. He's not getting away with this crap anymore."

I rolled my eyes. This wasn't the first time he's said that, and Danny always ended up out in an hour, donning his shades with a million cameras on him and reporters shoving mikes in his face, eager for a statement from the disheveled British rock star.

"… Who am I kiddin'?" He continued, and after a pause, "We're sending him to rehab."

I nodded, even thought he couldn't see it. Finally Jackson was making some sense; he'd let it get too far.

"He needs it," I agreed, "What does that mean for the gig here?" I asked.

"Cancelled, sorry, kid." He sounded sincere enough.

"It's alright, really… When are my tickets back?"

"That's where the good news comes in," I could see his half-smile on the other end.

"Oh?"

"Well, I figured it wasn't fair to bring you home..." _Home, hardly_ "… So clear everything up, and just stay in Newport for the rest of the week. I'm sure you can find something to do, and the room's already paid for."

I was pretty surprised; Jackson wasn't usually this nice. A week to myself back in the town where I'd experienced my greatest love, and had my heart crushed…

"Thanks, Jackson."

"Don't mention it, kid."

***

The first thing I thought to do was text Marissa… well, that's a bit of a lie. It wasn't the first thing I thought about, but it was up there. Knowing her, though, she was probably still asleep. That's what stopped me, which was probably for the better.

Next on the list was making the trip to LA to get my jeep from my mom's- I was getting sick of being driven around. I missed my old car, and it wasn't like my mother ever used it. It sat there in her garage, where I'd left it when I moved to New York for work. I called to let her know I was coming, which she was happy to hear, it had been a while since I'd seen her. The drive seemed a lot longer than it was since I was sitting in the backseat doing nothing. I didn't stay long, just enough for my mom to baby me a little and make me a lunch for the road… And to steal my surfboard out of the garage along with my jeep. Might as well make use of my vacation time doing something I loved.

I was eager to get back to Newport… for no particular reason at all. My… date? With Marissa wasn't until the next day. By the time I'd said my goodbyes to mother dearest and was on the road, it was almost noon. I chanced texting Marissa, with the justification that I just wanted to tell someone, and she was the only person who would care a little.

**You up?**

_Depends on your definition of "up." _

**Awake and semi-functioning enough to text. **

_You? Sure. _

**Oh no, not me.**

_Then I'm asleep…_

**Kidding.**

_I know. What's up?_

**Wondering if you wanted to do something a little earlier than planned. Like, today- earlier.**

_I can't. Busy this afternoon, and then there's a girl's night out with Summer…_

I tried not to let my disappointment show through the text. **That should be fun! I guess I'll just see you tomorrow.**

_You're a girl. _

**Last time I checked. **

_Hardy-har. You should come. It'll be fun. _

**Wouldn't that be interrupting precious bonding time?**

_It's Summer, we've bonded enough to practically be attached at the hip. We'll invite some more people, it'll be a party._

I had to admit I was tempted, **Maybe.**

_Oh, come on. We can catch up!_

**In a bar?**

_Fine… We can help you unwind, worker bee. _

**We'll see.**

_C'mon, Alex! I love her but… Save me from Summer?_

**Alright, but you owe me one, Cooper.**

___More than one, Kelly._

I left it at that for a very long time. I didn't know what she was talking about and I wasn't sure I wanted to. I was surprised at how easy it was for the two of us to talk to each other, or text each other, I guess, in this case. I wasn't complaining, but I had always harbored the thought that this was going to be tougher. I guess it was simply the fact that I didn't have to see her to text her, and deal with the heartache that caused me.

***

My whole day took forever after that. I couldn't find enough to keep my occupied. I didn't know what to do with myself. I could surf at any time of the day, but I loved surfing early in the morning and that's what stopped me from paddling out. I wanted my first time back on the waves to be at the time I loved most, other than the moments when the tide turned.

When eight finally rolled around, I was dying of boredom. I'd gone swimming in the hotel pool (got hit on by a few people), hung out on the pier and grabbed some French fries from the diner that the fab four had always liked so much. Still, I was Alex Kelly. I couldn't show up to this girl's night out on time… more like I didn't want to seem as eager as I was to go. So I called Jodie.

"Hey, chica!" She greeted from her end, and I could tell there was something going on at her place. There was music in the background, and voices. I knew she'd step out to talk to me for a bit though, she was cool like that.

"Hey!" I greeted with a similar enthusiasm, "Am I interrupting something?" I asked, even though I knew I was.

"Nah, nothing important. Just some people over, you know." The voices got steadily quieter, and the music muffled. She'd probably stepped out onto the porch. "What's up?"

"Guess where I am…"

"Newport?" She asked.

"How did you…?"

She laughed, "I called your office, and your little… uh, assistant (her emphasis was on the "ass," and I rolled my eyes) told me where you were so I didn't call your cell. Figured you were either busy a. mooning over Marissa, b. being all heartbroken over Marissa, or c. tapping that in a fit of lusty, twisted ex-girlfriend passion. Was I right?"

"No…"

"No?"

"Well… not about point c. A bit of a. and b. going on, though, I guess."

"Of course. I know you, chica."

"It's not as weird as I thought it was going to be, Jo."

"You saying that means it is weirder than weird, you know."

"Where does that twisted logic come from?"

"You're tryin' to justify, 'cause you know you're flipping out. Have you even seen her?"

"Yeah, actually. There was this art show-"

"Art show?"

"Well if you'd let me finish…"

"I'd say sorry, but…"

"You're not, anyway. Art show. It was hers and…" I gave her a play-by-play of the night before, and I could _hear_ her rolling her eyes.

"Sounds _fascinating_."

"You don't have to be sarcastic about it; you could just say you think I'm an idiot."

"And every time I think you know me, you prove me wrong."

"Oh, shut up."

"No, please, you first."

"I'm going to see her tonight…"

"Wait, I thought your pseudo-date wasn't 'til tomorrow?"

"Weren't you listening?"

"Not really…"

"I don't know why I talk to you."

"Because I'm the only one that pretends to listen to you, Blondie."

"Oh, right." I grinned, "Anyway, she invited me to this girl's night out with her and Summer and some other people, I guess."

"And when's this?"

"About…" I moved the phone away from my ear to check the time, "an hour ago."

"And you just decided to call and chat me up and forget about your ex instead of getting out there and making sure point c. gets put into action? I'm honored."

"I couldn't show up on time…"

"That's not the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"I…" I paused, not really sure what I wanted to say next. She had a point, it was stupid. But I didn't want to admit why I wasn't already there, or in my jeep on my way there. Jodie was my safety net with stuff like this; she was the one who put my pieces back together when we'd broken up.

"I'm scared to see her. It was easy enough to text her, but to talk to her? I don't know if I can do it planned out like this."

"What the hell were you planning to do tomorrow?"

"I have no idea."

"Well, in my opinion, you need to get your fine ass out there. So, just go. If you can't handle it, find some hot chick to dance with and forget all about Marissa for a song or two. Who knows, you might even make her jealous. Then you can get to that passion play." I rolled my eyes again. She always only had one thing on her mind, I swear.

"Well, as ridiculous as you sound, I suppose you're right."

"You need to unwind."

"That's what Marissa said!"

"Oh, shit, I take it back. I don't want to sound like Newport-Barbie! I need to go rinse my mouth out with soap! Have fun!" She yelled into the phone, and I knew she was pulling it away from her ear so I wasn't surprised when she hung up on me.

I sighed at my phone… time to face the music.

---

**A/N: **Thanks to CustomHeroine, The Night Life 13 (I haven't seen Firefly OR Serenity! Are they good? Am I missing something spectacular? I mean, it's from Joss, so probably, but I still have to ask!), LivWilde (I like that you point out exactly which bits of this that you like! And don't worry, I'll attempt to keep your mind reading on the DL too… guess that means I should stop mentioning it, ha), and Shelby-WakingTheDemon. Hooray for Faith fans! I love Faith just as much as I love Alex. You guys Eliza Dushku fans too? Watching Dollhouse regularly? See you soon!


	8. I Know This Bar

Chapter EIGHT; I Know This Bar

---

It was funny how I didn't realize where I was going until I got there. I was so preoccupied _getting_ there that I didn't stop to check where _there_ was. Leave it to Marissa and Summer to choose the one place in Newport I was uncertain about going back to. The Bait Shop. It's not like I was scared or anything, it was just a place where I'd worked… only, it was so much more than that. It was the home of most of my Newport memories, including many that featured Marissa.

_Hell-o memory lane, oh how I need a trip down you_ I thought sarcastically as I pulled my jeep into a parking space. My heartbeat picked up and was beating a tattoo in my throat. I swallowed as I stepped through the door into the second most familiar place in the O.C.

The place was pretty full for a weeknight, and I wondered if maybe it was the band that had brought people in. I scoped them out, but it was only a passing curiosity. I had no idea who they were, and for once I wasn't all that interested in finding out just in case they were talented. If they hadn't been playing so loud when I walked in, I might not have even taken notice. I was sort of one track minded tonight.

I couldn't find Marissa from where I was, the crowd was a bit much, but I managed to locate Summer. She was drinking a Cosmo and looking like she was having as much fun as the last girl's night out she and Marissa had here. She wasn't on my radar (much), but I supposed that I could rescue her from boredom at some point tonight. After I had a drink. Maybe that would calm my nerves.

I had to weave my way through quite a few people to get there, but eventually I reached the bar. There was no one I knew behind the counter, but a lot of the people who worked at the Bait Shop didn't stay long. I probably should have gotten an award for how long I was there, even if I left on short notice.

Someone vacated a barstool and I made it my temporary perch as I got the bartender's attention. She raised her eyebrows and winked at me in acknowledgement, and I couldn't help but smirk a little. She was kind of cute- thin, blue eyes, side-swept bangs and dark hair. She finished helping some people and then made her way over to me.

"What can I getcha?" She asked, very business-like.

"What have you got on tap?" I asked, trying to see around her torso to the tap with no luck.

"Beer…really?" She asked curiously.

I raised an eyebrow, "Not what you were expecting?"

She tilted her head to the side, "No, you don't really look like a beer kind of girl, Blondie."

"Alex."

"Hm?"

"Not Blondie, Alex," I laughed.

"Oh!" She laughed too, "Sorry. I'm Allegra."

"You never answered my question…"

"You don't really want a beer," she said smoothly, waving her hand.

"Jedi mind trick?"

"Did it work?" She asked, and smiled at me. I couldn't believe I was flirting with this bartender when only five minutes ago I'd been so intently focused on Marissa Cooper I'd tripped over my own feet.

"You convinced me," I smiled back.

"Yes!" She grinned, and then turned around and grabbed a highball glass.

"What are you doing?"

"Making you a drink."

"I didn't order-"

"I know, don't you trust me?"

"Uh…" I didn't know how to answer that without hurting her feelings. Obviously I didn't trust her- I'd only known her for two minutes.

"That's depressing, Alex. You should trust me; I know what I'm doing," Allegra told me matter-of-factly. She turned her back to me and continued on with her drink making. I couldn't see what was going into the cocktail shaker, but I was interested in finding out. After a minute she was facing me again and put on this adorable little concentration-face with her tongue sticking just barely out of the left corner of her lips. She poured the mix into the highball, topped it up with orange juice, added a dash of Galliano and floated Amaretto on the top, then pushed the glass towards me.

"How about-"

"A Sloe comfortable screw against the wall with a kiss?" I finished.

"Well, I was going to say dinner, but hey," she shrugged, smirked, and then walked off to help someone else.

"It's on me!" She shot over her shoulder before I could stop her. I couldn't not take it, after all that effort, so I grabbed the glass and took a sip. She was a good bartender, I'd give her that.

Drink in hand; I made my way over to where I'd seen Summer on the way in. She was chatting with some more girls who'd joined her, but it still didn't look like she as having a fantastic time.

"Missing Seth and his comic books?" I asked from behind her.

"Graphic Novels," she corrected instantly, and then turned in her seat to see who she was correcting. The recognition sparked in her eyes, and for a moment she looked happy to see me, then it all went downhill.

"What the hell, Alex?!" She demanded.

I was all sorts of confused, "Wha- what did I do?" I asked, setting my drink on the table. She glanced at it.

"That looks… elaborate," she muttered, more to herself, I assume, and then turned her attention back to me.

"Sloe comfortable screw against the wall with a kiss," I told her, and she looked at me like I was insane.

"No thanks…"

"The drink," I explained, rolling my eyes. That seemed to remind her that she was pissed off.

"Hey! Back to the yelling! What the heck took you so long?" She stood, hands on her hips. The other girls sitting at the table were all looking at Summer and then at each other with gossip-y looks on their faces. I tried to ignore them and focus on the angry short girl in front of me.

"I… got held up. There was a phone call…" She grabbed my arm and pulled me aside.

"Look, Summer, what is this all about? Is my timing really that big a deal?" I asked, as she dragged me closer to the speakers, and away from people. The band was taking a break, and they were playing dance music on. She didn't answer until we came to a stop where she was satisfied, and even then she didn't answer my question.

"Marissa's been drinking."

"It's a bar…"

"No, Alex, I'm talking an excessive amount."

"And…?" I wasn't getting where she was going with this. It was a girl's night out, didn't people usually get drunk?

"It's because of you!" _Wait, what!?_

"Hold the phone there, Roberts! What are you talking about?" I was very confused. Summer heaved a sigh, spun me around, and pointed out onto the dance floor. I scanned it, until my eyes finally came to rest on the girl I was here to see… grinding close with some guy. Jealousy flared up in my chest, but I made myself turn back around and face Summer, nonchalant.

I opened my mouth, but she beat me to speaking, "You can't tell me that doesn't bother you."

"It doesn't bother me."

"And Seth playing video games until two in the morning doesn't bother me either! Alex, she waited for you tonight, and after the hour she spent doing that she decided you weren't going to show and she got trashed on Vodka. I couldn't…"

"Whoa! Summer, you can't blame this on me. It's not my fault Marissa doesn't know her limits!" I couldn't believe I was arguing this. It was insanity. I'd only been here for a little while and already things were shot to hell. But Marissa wasn't my fault. Hell, she wasn't even my problem! I didn't even know if we were considered friends. I cared, but it wasn't my dilemma. She looked fine enough out there on the dance floor.

"Oh, this is so your fault." Summer said, glaring at me. I have to admit that I was a little intimidated, despite the fact that this was Summer Roberts we were dealing with, and she was shorter and weaker than me. I knew she'd do anything when it came to Marissa, and she was determined to blame this on me, that much was certain.

"It can't be, I just got here!"

"And then you decided to chat up the bartender!"

"So what!"

"Look, all I know is Marissa saw you come in, went to go get you, and saw you flirting it up with Slutty from McSlutville. After that, we got… that." She waved her hand at the dance floor again. "So, your fault!"

"It's not like she's getting into trouble! She's just dancing. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Oh, you wait…" Summer shook her head, and left me standing there just as the band started playing something and the speakers came blaring to life. I jumped, surprised by the sudden volume.

"Aw, scared of the big bad speaker?" A voice asked in my ear. I turned to find Allegra smirking at me.

I shook my head, "Startled," I answered, as the music calmed down a little.

"Sure, babe, sure," she rolled her eyes, grabbed my hand, and pulled me a ways away. I could feel Summer's eyes boring into my back.

"I was thinking about taking you up on that offer… Well, a part of it anyway. My break doesn't give us enough time for _all_ of it." My eyebrows knitted together, and I looked at her inquisitively. I was thrown.

"What offer?"

"Don't tell me you forgot already…" Then I realized what she meant. The name of the drink. My eyes widened in surprise.

"There it is," she smirked, recognizing my recognition.

"I… uh…" I fumbled with the words to tell her I wasn't interested.

"Come on, just the kiss part. Then you can get back to whatever you were doing, honest." She held up three fingers in the Boy Scout promise. When I didn't answer, unable to come up with something to say, she took a step closer.

"Allegra…"

"Alex…"

"Really, I-" I finally started, but she cut me off with her lips on mine. I was stunned, but it was also a shock to the brain. Suddenly everything was working properly again, and I managed to take a step back… only to run into someone.

I turned to apologize to whoever it was, and was stunned back into silence. Marissa. She looked… devastated. But it was gone so quick I had to wonder if I'd imagined it, because a moment later she was all sarcasm.

"Nice to know I'm not the only one getting some action tonight," she quipped, and then turned on her heel and disappeared into the crowd.

---

**A/N:** dun dun duhn! Drama, drama, drama. Obviously the night isn't over… oh, hardly! I know, I'm evil.

Thanks to Beautifully Flawed (good point, I'm not really sure where Joss will take it either, but I'm down for finding out. As long as there's a show with Eliza on the air, I'm content), LivWilde (I feel the same way about texting! I also do it way too much, and way more than talking on the phone. Oops? It's not my fault it's just easier. As for Jodie… maybe, but I'm not going to say for sure. First, a little guessing is good for you readers, and second, I'm not sure yet myself, haha), and The Night Life 13 (limited texting SUCKS! My apologies for being stuck with that, I couldn't do it. I'll have to add both Firefly and Serenity to my list!). See you soon!


	9. Served Faithfully

Chapter NINE; Served Faithfully

---

I stood there in stunned silence, just watching the spot where Marissa had disappeared into the excessive amount of people on the dance floor. I felt like my world was crashing and burning, and all because of… Allegra. I whirled on her, having forgotten about her in my broken moment. But now I was angry.

"What the hell was that?!" I demanded, my determination to know the answer matching Summer's from before.

"You didn't seem to be complaining when you were flirting with me at the bar." She commented, and I started to correct her when she started up again.

"Is that your girlfriend?" she asked, nodding in the direction Marissa had gone off in.

"She…I… Yes, she is." I didn't know how else to get her off of my back than to lie to her. I knew I acted like it anyway, around other people.

"Oh…" She looked surprised, and then disappointed, "I'm sorry."

_You should be_, I thought, but the look on her face prevented me from saying it out loud. I'd gotten soft over the years, I guess, and I couldn't resist hurting such a cute girl, even if she might have just ruined _everything_ that mattered to me in Newport.

"It's fine. I didn't say anything. Look, Allegra, if things were different, maybe you and I-"

She shook her head, and that smirk was back on her face, "Don't try and make me feel better, Blondie. Just go. Get your girl."

"I don't know-"

"Not listening!" She announced, and walked off. I assumed she had to get back to work, now that she was done ruining my life like a wrecking ball taking out a building. The building didn't ask for it, but the wrecking ball took it out anyway.

***

I stopped back at Summer's table and she was glaring at me before I even said anything. I took note that the glass I'd left was now empty, and there were now drink-less shot glasses that resembled casualties of rampage-Marissa. I never knew she could drink that much. I was well aware that she had a higher tolerance than the rest of the Newport kids, but at the rate she was going it wouldn't be long before she put herself in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.

Summer didn't let me say a word, "No. Fix it," she commanded sternly, and I felt compelled to oblige. Even though I'd said different, we both knew that I'd made Marissa my "problem" long ago when I'd stupidly fallen in love with her.

"Point me in the right direction?"

She pointed, and I went, eyes peeled. I found her at the bar, flirting with some guy. He looked a _little_ less smashed than she was, but he'd obviously been here for a while. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that if he hadn't been drunk he wouldn't have been listening to Marissa (whatever she was propositioning) but that was obviously me lying to myself. Anyone would listen to Marissa, no matter what state they were in. I watched the two of them walk up the spiral set of stairs and out into the night.

I was seething, and it was all I could do to keep from grabbing Allegra from behind the counter and reciprocating childishly. No, that wasn't me. Instead, I went out after them, dodging people and dashing up the stairs before they got too much of a lead.

It took me a minute, but I finally caught up with them. I was pissed, but I tried to calm myself down before I called Marissa's name.

"Marissa!"

She whirled on my in a manner similar to the one I'd used on Allegra. "What?" She asked shortly, clearly not interested in the least in what I had to say.

"Can we talk?"

"I'm busy."

"He'll wait."

"I don't want to make him…"

"Marissa, we really need to-"

Then the Lughead interrupted me, "She doesn't want to talk to you, so I suggest you shove off." He sounded like a drunken version of Sylvester Stallone.

"Shove off? What do you think you are, British?" I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "This doesn't concern you, Rocky."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure _this_ doesn't concern _you._" He shot back, evidently the best he could come up with. He was getting defensive, like a hunter over their prey, even though in this instance he had been the one hunted.

"Why don't you just get back to your slutty bartender, dyke." Was what came out of his mouth next, and I couldn't contain myself anymore. I decked him, hard, right in the jaw. The alcohol already making him unstable on his feet, and the anger and jealousy fueling my adrenaline, he went sprawling. I grabbed Marissa's hand as he was shuffling to his feet, and dragged her back into the Bait Shop, despite her protests.

We wound up in my old office, my feet leading me there without hesitation despite the fact that I'd long since given up my rights to it. I shut the door and told Marissa to sit down on the couch. She listened, for once, and I had to admit that I was surprised. She looked like she was done fighting, but I didn't know what her reasons were. She just sat, and looked at the floor blankly.

"What the he-" I started, and she flinched, ever so slightly. I stopped, mid word, and took a deep breath. Yelling at her wasn't going to make things better, wasn't going to fix anything. I was pacing the floor in front of the desk, on the opposite side of the room of the couch.

After a minute of pacing, and silence, I looked at her. She looked so… defeated. It broke my heart. The anger that had previously consumed my mind dissolved.

"I'm going to get you some water. Stay put." I told her, but gently this time. I was asking under the premise of an order. She just nodded, and I ducked out of the room.

Running my hands through my hair, I walked over and ordered a bottle of water from the bar and thanked the bartender who, thankfully, wasn't the flirty type.

When I got back to my old office, I found Marissa passed out on couch. I sighed a deep sigh, and sat down gently on the edge of the couch cushion, setting the water bottle on the floor by my feet, and tenderly tucking a strand of hair behind Marissa's ear.

"What am I going to do with you, Riss? What the hell were you thinking?" I asked her sleeping form, expecting no response from the unconscious love of my life.

***

I wasn't aware how long I was sitting there just watching her sleep until Summer opened the door and stuck her head inside.

"I thought you might be here." She said, and I glared at her with the same disdain she'd given me earlier. She knew full well that Marissa was asleep, and yet she didn't have the decency to whisper. I stood, gingerly, and made my way through the door, shutting it lightly behind me.

"What can I do for you, Summer?" I asked. I'd already taken care of her best friend tonight, which I wasn't complaining about, but was supposed to be her job.

"Just checking on Marissa. And you. I wanted to see if you'd found her, fixed things."

"I found her, but I didn't fix jack. I punched a guy…" I looked down at my hand for the first time since it had connected with Rocky's face and realized that it hurt. "Ow," I mumbled, running my fingers over my knuckles.

"I'm sure you didn't have to go that far…"

"Yes, I did. He got what he deserved," but I was done talking about tonight's escapades.

"Are you going to take her home?" I asked, still rubbing my knuckles.

She hesitated, "… Could you?" She finally asked.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, Summer?" I asked, temper flaring.

"Please, Alex." Her brown eyes were pleading with me, and everything tonight was just so confusing. Everything in Newport was just so confusing. It made my head spin- gave me whiplash.

"Yeah, alright." I consented, and Summer handed me a slip of paper that turned out to be Marissa's address. Apparently she'd been planning on asking me for a while.

"Call me when you get her home?"

I raised an eyebrow, _if you cared, you'd be taking her home yourself_. I shook my head, "Don't worry about it; I'll get her home safe."

Summer nodded, willing to give into my terms, "Thank you, Alex. Really."

"It's for her…" I said, and she just nodded again.

***

Hated to wake her, but I couldn't carry her to the care alone.

"Marissa," I called softly, shaking her shoulder until she looked up at me, dazed.

"Yeah?" She asked drowsily, the word not completely formed.

"I'm going to take you home."

She shook her head, nuzzling it into the couch cushion and closing her eyes again.

I sighed, "You can sleep in the car." I promised, and she frowned, but nodded and stood unsteadily. Unwilling to let her attempt to make it alone, I wrapped an arm around her waist. We stood like that for a moment before making our way to the jeep. She was leaning on me the entire way, either too intoxicated or too tired to be independent. She was out almost as soon as she sat down in the passenger's seat.

***

I couldn't bear to wake her again as we reached the final stretch of our journey tonight. I pulled into the driveway of her place on the beach. It wasn't quite what I was expecting. The place was small, but beautiful, and right on the sand. I briefly wondered if Julie Cooper had a hand in the purchase of such a nice home, but decided that it was one among the things I wouldn't find out tonight. That I might never find out, the way things were going.

I unbuckled my seatbelt, and realized that I wouldn't be able to get into the house. I cursed silently, and then decided that of all the people in the world, Summer would know if Marissa had a spare key.

When I pulled my phone out of my pocket, I was surprised to see a text message from Marissa's season-themed best friend herself.

_There's a spare key above the door. She left her purse in my car._

I had to hand it to her, the girl was a big help. Not as much as she was a pain in my ass, but still.

I unlocked the front door first, before heading back to the jeep and just staring at Marissa's sleeping figure. She looked… content when she was sleeping. Hardly angelic, but at least not as pained. Maybe it was because her eyes were closed, and I couldn't see her emotions in them. I was convinced that I could carry her in without waking her, despite the fact that it had been some time since my last adventure in heavy lifting. Not that Marissa would be heavy. She was pretty thin.

We made it in alright, no mishaps or semi-comical heads getting knocked against things. It was slightly more difficult than I anticipated, but we ended up where we needed to be without any problems.

Her bedroom. I thought it would be a while, if ever, that I got to see Marissa's bedroom again, but here we were, together, albeit under extremely odd circumstances. I set her as gently as possible on the bed, which wasn't easy. My muscles were burning by the time I reached this point, and when they were relieved of the weight, I groaned out loud. The muscles were clearly burning to remind me not to do this again, but Marissa was my damsel in distress. I'd do it all over again, if I had to, I supposed.

_You're a little… girly, to be a knight in shining armor, don't you think?_ A voice in the back of my head asked me, but cleared the thought. I was doing just fine, if you asked me. Marissa was home safe in bed, and it was all thanks to me. I wasn't asking for a medal. We'd never have to mention this night again as long as we lived- but I knew.

This was a test, and I passed. I had what it took to take care of her. That's what mattered to me.

Still not wanting to run the risk of waking her, I located an extra blanket and draped it over her body. She didn't stir. Operation Marissa-home-safe accomplished. I was pleased, in spite of the dreadfulness of the rest of the night.

I couldn't resist running my fingers lightly across her smooth cheek, convinced that she was so asleep she'd never notice. She probably wouldn't even remember tonight in the morning. I was fine with that; tonight had not been one of our best.

Her eyes fluttered open as I pulled my hand away, and I frowned. So much for all of that- suddenly it all seemed a waste, the magic shattered. Until…

"Stay…"

She grabbed my hand, eyes twinkling in the moonlight that shone through the window.

"I can't…"

Her eyes pleaded with me, "For me?"

"Riss, I can't…"

Tears began to well up, "Please?"

A beat, and then another.

…

…

I couldn't possibly say no.

I lightly brushed her knuckles with my lips.

"Okay."

---

**A/N:**See, you guys can't be too mad at me. Two updates in one day, with just a… few hours wait in between! ;) You know you forgot all about my evilness.

Thanks to caesaraugusta, and LivWilde (You're welcome! It was no problem, really. You're such a dedicated reader/ reviewer [not to mention the cool factor], having perfect timing is simply the least I can do. Sorry for leaving it where I left it, but you can forgive me, right?) For reviewing! Love you guys, see you soon!


	10. What If No One's Watching

Chapter TEN; What If No One's Watching

---

We stayed like that for a moment, her hand in mine, and our eyes locked. Then I made the move to let go of her hand and make the trek to the couch.

She locked her grip tighter, "You said you would stay," she told me, with an edge that sounded like panic to her voice. I stopped trying to get away, and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm going to stay, Marissa, I promise."

"But I meant _stay_." I knew what she was saying, but I wasn't sure if she did.

"Marissa…"

She yawned widely, but then her eyes were on mine again. She still hadn't let go of my hand, "Not like that, Alex. I need you." She murmured sleepily.

That threw me. I didn't really know how to take it. I didn't know what she needed me for, or why she'd said it. I was assuming it was the liquor in her system, and the fact that she was so tired. She needed me… maybe she thought I was Ryan. It could happen. I wished we could talk about this, and what it meant, but it wasn't like I would get anything meaningful out of Marissa, who was barely hanging on to consciousness as it was.

She up at me expectantly, "You said…"

I kicked off my shoes. There was no point in arguing here. If I went home now, it would be because I was running scared. I'd wonder forever about this moment, and if walking away had been the right choice. I'd walked away from Marissa once before, and that had always seemed like one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I didn't know if we had a chance, I didn't even know if she was interested in me anymore (as anything more than a friend) but I was willing to stay the night. Because she needed me. I couldn't fight that.

"I'm not going anywhere," I told her, and she nodded a little and tentatively let go of my hand. I moved over and took off her shoes and then took the spot next to her on the bed. I opened my mouth to say something, but I glanced over and found that she was already asleep. Out like a light.

I looked up at the ceiling, imagining the constellations beyond the roof. So much had happened these past couple of days. There was so much to think about, so much to talk about. All my body really wanted to do was fall asleep and deal with it in the morning. Something wouldn't let me.

I knew she was sleep, but I couldn't help it, "Goodnight, Riss" I told the darkness.

She had an answer for me, even if it wasn't verbal. She rolled over, wrapping herself up in the blanket even more, and snuggled into me. I sighed, but it wasn't the usual sigh of annoyance or exasperation. I was content here, more than I had been in almost as long as I could remember. She wasn't supposed to affect me like this. Well, I wasn't supposed to let her affect me like this. But she meant so much to me.

I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes.

***

I woke up the next morning all too soon and completely disoriented. I had that sense of vertigo that people sometimes get, and I attributed it to the dream I'd been having right before my eyes had opened. My heart was beating a quicker rhythm in my chest. I took a deep breath, and then tried to make an assessment of things before opening my eyes. I was warm, but not exceedingly so. Next I became aware that my arm was asleep, and there was a steady stop/start of air on my neck.

I opened my eyes to find Marissa Cooper in my arms, cuddled up so close that most of our bodies were touching. She had her nose in the crook of my neck, which explained the stream of cool air there. The brunette also explained the lack of circulation in my arm as well- aforementioned arm was wrapped firmly around her. All the memory of the night before came rushing back to me.

I looked around for a clock to see what time it was and my eyes settled in on the DVD player under her TV, and the little digital numbers changed from 11:12 to 11:13. It was almost noon! It didn't surprise me much after the events of last night. I actually thought it would be later. It wasn't normal for me to get up at this time anymore (my internal clock had been reset after years of work) but I wasn't complaining. I don't think anyone would complain about the position I was in.

There was no way for me to get up without waking Marissa in the process, and I wanted her to stay asleep. For more than one reason. I wasn't sure if I was ready to deal with things this morning. Waking up in the same bed again, for one. And then there was all the other stuff we needed to address. Like the reason she'd been drinking so heavily last night, and maybe eventually how stupid I was for walking away from her at the beach that night. Maybe. But I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to have than conversation.

I almost jumped a foot in the air when I felt something cold on my leg. The good ol' heartbeat picked up again, until I realized that Marissa's toes had found their way under the cuff of my pants. I couldn't help but chuckle. As if enough of us wasn't touching already. I wondered if all of this meant something; that we wound up so wrapped in each other in the morning. Our subconscious's way of trying to tell us something? On my end it wasn't something that I didn't already know consciously.

I was still in love with her.

I didn't want to admit it, but there was really no way to deny it and I didn't really feel like lying to myself.

Marissa nuzzled her nose deeper into my neck, and then yawned. Her breath left goose bumps on my skin. I watched her slowly wake up, her body working before her mind. She stretched her legs, running her toes down mine, and then opened her beautiful eyes. It was a process I was all too familiar with.

She looked pretty shocked when her mind caught up, and scooted away from me quicker than I thought was possible for a person who had been so asleep only moments ago. I had to admit I was disappointed at the absence. When she was asleep and curled up so close, I could almost pretend we we'd gone back in time.

"Alex!" She sat up, running her fingers through her hair nervously. I was glad I'd sort of expected this reaction.

I looked up at her from where I was, working the feeling back into my fingers, "Good morning, Marissa." I said, even-toned and with a small smile.

"I didn't… we didn't…"

I shook my head, "No, nothing like that. I brought you home, and you wouldn't let me leave." I smiled at her wryly; she was adorable when she was flustered.

She calmed down visibly, and then plunked back down into the pillows, tilting her head to look at me, "Thank you."

I leaned on my elbow, my head on my hand, "For what?" I asked, considering I didn't know if she knew what she was thanking me for.

"For whatever you did for me," she closed her eyes, and then opened them again, "For not letting me do anything stupid."

So she did remember parts of last night, "Don't worry about it, I got your back, Cooper." I winked at her, and started to get up. I could shrug this off. She didn't need to know what a big deal everything had been for me.

I felt the bed move, and then her arms were wrapped around me, restricting my movement. She let me go after a minute, and I turned around to face her. She just hugged me again, even tighter than before and she didn't let go.

"Uh, Riss? Air becoming an issue." I said, breathless. She released me and blushed a deep shade of scarlet, keeping her eyes focused on anything but mine.

"What was that all about?"

She shrugged, "I wanted you to know that I mean it. I know it's not a big deal for you, but it kind of means something to me."

"I'm sure loads of people are dying to play your knight in shining armor. I just got lucky." I reached out and smoothed her hair, some of which was sticking up a little.

"_I _got lucky." She said, leaning into my hand as it moved down her cheek of its own accord. She mumbled something, but I couldn't quite make it out.

"What was that?"

"Oh…" She blushed again, and I guess she hadn't realized that she'd said anything out loud, "Not as many people as you think." She repeated for me. I smiled and she smiled back and I pulled my hand back into my own personal space and out of hers.

"I'm sure you're wrong."

"I'm never wrong."

"Except for when you are."

"Which is never."

"Which is sometimes."

"Nuh uh!"

"Yes huh!"

She narrowed her eyes at me, "… I'm going to take a shower."

I narrowed my eyes back, "That's what I thought."

She made her way off the bed, "This isn't over."

"Yes it is, I win. The end."

She rolled her eyes, and I leaned over the bed and grabbed my shoes as she rifled through her drawers.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked expectantly, one hand on her hip. You know, she was pretty spunky for someone who should have had a mean hangover from the night before.

"Home?" I said, but it came out more like a question. Not that the hotel I was staying at was considered home, but it was easier to say.

"No way, missy. You and I have a date. Stay put."

"Marissa, it's 11:30 in the morning, and I slept in these clothes."

"And? Borrow something. You're mine today." She commanded, and shut the bathroom door behind her. If only she knew how true that was, today and every other day. I flopped back down on the pillows; it was amazing how many emotions we could go through in such a short span of time.

Her phone rang after the water had been running for a few minutes. I reached over and picked it up out of the cradle without thinking.

"Hello?" I asked into the receiver, and wasn't surprised to hear Summer's voice on the other end.

"Marissa?" She asked.

"No, it's Alex…" I was pretty sure that what came next qualified as a squeal. Of what? I was assuming excitement, but you never knew with Summer.

"Oh, Alex! Hi! I didn't know you'd still be over! I uhm, I'll call back later!"

"Wait, wait, Summer! It's okay. Marissa's just in the shower." I could see her eyes widening on the other end.

"Go Alex!" Seth's voice chimed in.

"Seth, what the hell?!" Summer's voice sounded venomous, and I could hear her moving. I assumed she was tracking Seth down, and my suspicions were confirmed when I heard a thump and then a string of complaints followed by the click of one receiver on the Cohens' end.

"Uh… Summer?" I asked, trying not to laugh too hard. I didn't know what the Cohens thought had happened between me and Marissa, but I could guess.

When she got back to me, she was a little out of breath from beating Seth up, "Sorry, Alex. Anyways! I'm really happy for you two!"

"Summer, what do you think is going on here?"

"Well you spent the night…"

"Because Marissa asked me to. She was totally smashed, Summer, you don't honestly think I'd take advantage of her like that, do you?"

The events of last night seemed to hit her, she must have forgotten all about it in her excitement, "Oh, right…. Does she have a mean hangover?"

"No, surprisingly. She actually seems fine…"

There was a brief pause, "Wow. You're a miracle worker, Alex Kelly."

"I didn't _do_ anything, Sum, honestly!"

"Uh huh…"

I rolled my eyes. She was as bad as Seth. He'd rubbed off on her far too much over the years, "I just brought her home like you asked. And then we went to sleep. That's it."

Summer got serious after I said that, "She slept?" She asked, sounding surprised.

"Like a rock. I don't think we moved all night."

She must have ignored the digs she could have gotten in with that one, and just said, "You really are a miracle worker then."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"She hasn't-"

"Who're you talking to?" Marissa asked from behind me. She was hardly wearing anything, just shorts and a tank, and I found myself tongue tied, eyes roaming up her legs.

"Summer," I responded automatically.

"Alex?" Summer asked into my ear, and Marissa gave me a quizzical look.

"She's calling to check on you," I told Marissa, and then offered her the phone. She took it from me, and I hoped Summer got what was going on. I wanted to know what she had to say, but I was definitely sidetracked. It took all I had to get my eyes off of Marissa's legs, stand up, and open up her closet.

"Summer, hey!" Marissa greeted, sounding chipper. I don't know what Summer said in response, and I tuned out the conversation while I hunted down a shirt. I could wear these pants again, but I had to grab a pair of underwear out of Marissa's drawer while she went back into the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush. I was going to try not to think about that too much.

There was a bottle of Vodka stashed there, and I pulled it out. Most of it was gone. I raised an eyebrow and the bottle at Marissa when she walked back into the room. She just shrugged, and continued her conversation. I realized that she was a grown woman, and was allowed to have alcohol wherever she liked in her house, but I was thinking that we might have to have a talk about exactly how much she was drinking.

I put the bottle back, because there was nothing I could do at that point and then stepped into the bathroom to take my shower.

Just another thing to add to the list of stuff that might never get talked about, at the rate we were going.

---

**A/N:** So it wasn't three updates in two days like I was shooting for, but I don't think it was too bad. I got pretty close to the mark. Finished this chapter at 12:58am PST. Oh! I wanted to mention, just so I'm not giving anyone a false impression, that I haven't watched anything other than season 2 of the O.C. I'm planning on watching season 1, just because I'm interested in what happened before, but I haven't done that yet. Yeah. So now that that's been said… thanks to LivWilde (I think you might be right about Summer, seems like a plausible explanation to me! And you're also right when it comes to the cool factor, it might have been seriously devastated if you hadn't forgiven me. And that would have just been tragic), The Night Life 13, Shelby-WakingTheDemon, bigblusky, tortured2, and xxbloodstainedtearsxxx (my, that was quite a review!) for reviewing. Apparently punching is quite a hit with you guys! (Sorry, excuse the pun.) Anyways, I'll shut up now. See you soon!


	11. How Have You Been

Chapter ELEVEN; How Have You Been

---

By the time I stepped back out of Marissa's bathroom (wearing yesterday's pants and one of Marissa's Sex Pistols shirts) the phone was resting in its cradle and Marissa was off somewhere else in the house. My hope was that she wasn't off somewhere consuming unknown amounts of alcohol before breakfast. I thought about that while I was putting on my shoes, about whether or not I had the right to confront her about it. As I was tying the laces, I supposed that I did. I was her friend after all, at least, if you ignored the years we'd spent not talking to each other and how recently we'd come back into contact.

Marissa stuck her head in the door, and flashed her amazing smile at me, "You, me, breakfast," and then she was gone again. I shook my head, but I was grinning. Moments like this were when I imagined that she was back in high school, and I was bartending at the Bait Shop. I don't know why I always looked back instead of imagining something for the future (after all, our relationship had never exactly been sound) but I guess it was because I was assured that the ship had sailed.

"Coming?!" She called from somewhere, and I heard the jingle of keys. I hunted through my pockets and realized that the keys to my jeep were missing.

"Marissa! There's no way in hell you're driving my car!" I called, and took off after her.

***

"Chili fries?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I thought this was breakfast."

"It's so past breakfast time, Alex. You're the one that looks weird ordering pancakes past noon."

"You said breakfast."

"I'm still having chili fries." _Of course._

"Wont those go straight to your thighs?"

"I've been eating them for years, and I still have you checking me out. I think I'll be okay."

She was still pretty good at rendering me speechless. I was at a loss for how to come back ot that.

"Not that I mind, just saying." She laughed as the waitress brought our order back, setting Marissa's fries in front of me and my pancakes in front of her. I grabbed a couple fries and then pushed them over toward her, sliding my plate to my side of the table at the same time.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"I thought it was too early for chili fries?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"You convinced me," I shrugged. She rolled her eyes and I poured syrup over my pancakes.

"So how have you been?" I asked, conversationally.

"Better lately. And you?"

"Great," I lied a little, but only because it wasn't like I could come right out and say that I'd missed her more than I'd missed anyone, and was only just realizing it now.

There was a short patch of silence, comfortable because we were busy chewing.

"I never really pictured you as an artist."

"_Thanks._"

I rolled my eyes, "You know I didn't mean it like that."

"I know," she smiled, "But yeah, I kind of love it. I gave the whole college thing a real try. I got bored after two years, and I fell in love…" She paused to eat another fry, meanwhile I was having a heart attack wondering what was coming next, "…with painting." I could breathe again. "Then I sort of dropped out of Berkeley and spent a year in Europe staring at canvases trying to paint something important. When it all came down to it, I realized that I already had my inspiration, I just had to tap into it, you know?"

That was the most words I'd heard her string together since her speech during her art show. I was listening intently, pancakes forgotten on the table in front of me.

"What?" She asked with her curious-face on.

"I'm just interested."

"In what?"

"You." I stuck a fork in the pancakes I'd just remembered, and then realized what I'd said, "I mean, in your life, what's happened since… what you've been-"

"Alex?" I stopped rambling, "Shut up," she laughed, "I got it." I nodded and was suddenly very interested in the plate in front of me.

"So what about you? I mean, you're here on business, right? But what do you do?" She reached over and grabbed my glass of milk and took a drink. Why was this so easy for her?

"I uh, went back home for a while. Bartended my way through college, and ended up a PR rep for Red Velvet Records. Live music being my passion and all, I figured getting to deal with it would be cool. That was actually why I was here."

"Was?" She asked, and then asked the waitress if she could get a hot fudge sundae. I didn't say anything about that, I just answered.

"The show got cancelled, there were some issues, and now I've got the whole week off."

"The whole week? Here?"

"My room's paid for." I nodded, and she took another drink of my milk.

"Does that mean I get to see you again?" I could have been imagining it, but she actually sounded hopeful.

"Sure. I mean, it's not like I know anyone else here in Newport." I chuckled, but maybe _that_ hadn't been the right thing to say. Marissa dropped her façade for a moment, and I could see something in her eyes that she wasn't able to cover up quickly enough.

"Ha, yeah, I guess you don't." She tried to smile, but it wasn't very convincing.

"Not that you're my only option." I could have smacked myself. Why the hell couldn't I say anything around her?

"Marissa, I…" I ran my hand through my hair and started again "Marissa, I'm really glad to see you. And I'd love to see you again before I have to leave. More than anyone in Newport. Could I have my milk?"

She looked down at the glass in her hand, and then handed it over the table to me.

"Thanks." I took a drink and avoided her eyes a little. I was embarrassed enough as it was, having just said that out loud. The waitress stopped back by and dropped Marissa's sundae off, which she promptly tucked into.

"Where's your head, Alex Kelly?" Marissa asked after a few bites, pointing her spoon at me.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"Stuff."

"Like what?"

"Nothing important." I shrugged, grabbed a spoon, and helped myself to her ice cream. I figured if she could do it to me, I could at least repay the favor.

"You want to go for a walk on the beach or something? I'm just about done here."

"I don't see why not. This brunch is on me."

Marissa opened her mouth to protest, but I took the opportunity to stick a spoonful of ice cream between her lips before making my way over to pay the bill.

"You're lucky I don't feel like beating you up," she told me, when we were walking to the car.

"I think I'm lucky you think I'm too cute to beat up is what you're trying to say there, Cooper."

She stopped and looked me up and down, then shook her head, "No, not really."

"Ow, my ego." I said, doing my best to sound pained.

"I didn't say I didn't think you were hot. Just not cute. Badass-Alex wouldn't even be caught dead having people think she was cute. What happened to her?" She looked behind me, as if looking for the Alex I'd once been, the one who'd thrown beer cans at Ryan Atwood's head, and almost had him beat up by two ex-cons.

_She left the girl she loved on the beach, _"I dunno, maybe you should give her a call."

"Aw, was that too mean?"

"Put your seatbelt on."

"Oh, Alex, I didn't mean it. I like you both ways."

"Sure, sure." I put the jeep in reverse.

"Really!"

"Uh huh."

She sighed heavily, "You don't believe me?"

"Not really."

"Anything I can do to convince you?" _I could think of a few things…_

"Nope."

"Are you going to pout for the rest of the day? Because you could just drop me off back at home…"

"If that's what you want…"

"Alex! Seriously!"

"What? You said it."

"But I didn't mean it!"

"Okay."

"You're mad."

"I'm not mad."

"You're driving me home."

"Am I?"

"You just made the turn!"

I looked around, like I didn't know what street I'd just turned down, "I guess I am."

"Alex, I don't want to go home!"

"You said you did!"

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Alex?"

"Yes, Marissa?"

"Please don't take me home. I want to stay with you."

"Alright."

"Can you take a different street then?!"

"Fine, fine, fine." I pulled onto a different street and backtracked until we were heading towards the pier.

"Thank you."

"Sure."

"Still upset?"

"Not in the least."

"Doesn't sound like that…"

"Hey, Marissa?"

"Yes?"

"You talk, _a lot_."

"Oh, thanks."

"Welcome." I grinned as she pouted over there in the passenger's seat. We pulled into a parking space right near the sand, and Marissa unbuckled her seat belt.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"You're it." She somehow managed to tag me, get the door open, hop out, shut it, and hit the sand before I had time to turn the car off and chase after her.

"You're so going to get it!" I yelled after her.

***

One _long_ game of tag, and two ice cream cones later, we were sitting on the sand catching our breath.

"Who's winning?" I asked, taking a chunk out of the cookies and cream atop my cone.

"Me, of course."

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Shall we settle this?"

"How are we going to do that, fight to the death?"

"Is that like, an Aztec thing? Because I missed that day."

"Why ever did you go and do a thing like that?" I asked innocently.

"Well… there was this girl…"

"There's always a girl…"

"Long story short, she told me the Aztecs weren't important."

"Hey! I never said that! I said that there was nothing really to learn about them. Big difference!"

"You still kept me from school…"

"You're the big ditcher; I tried to get you to leave."

"Uh huh, you tried real hard. Well, it was probably the Meth lab in the basement that kept me anyway."

"I knew you were only using me for my connections."

"Because it definitely wasn't the blonde hair, blue eyes, and rockin' body that kept me there, no sir!"

"Psh! Definitely not! Just like it wasn't the adorable freckles, amazing cheekbones, or the pouty lips that made me want to convince you to stay by trying to sound cool. Well, cooler."

It had started out as lighthearted fun, just teasing between two friends but all of a sudden it was intense. Our eyes met, just like they had the night before (only this time I had all of Marissa, not just her inebriated self). We had a connection, we had chemistry. We couldn't be around each other without it turning into flirting or moments of awkward silence as we said something that reminded us of the past- or in my case, my feelings for her.

We'd known each other again for three whole days, and here we were, in one of those take it or leave it moments.

We took it.

We closed the gap between us at the same time, and our lips came together with more passion than I can find words for.

This was it. Our defining moment, relived all over again. Same beach, but a different time. I didn't know what it meant for us, if when we parted she would think it all a mistake. I didn't know if she'd be afraid like last time, if we could make it work.

I wasn't sure if I was ready to try again. I wasn't sure if I could think about it, after what she'd done to my heart last time. After all the questions that were still unanswered.

But none of it mattered. My mind was clear, worries and doubts were blocked from my mind. It was amazing how she could do that to me; make me forget about time, space, people, things, and the fact that there was an entire world out there besides the two of us.

Passion was strange.

Love was stranger.

I was prepared to deal with both, even if I didn't fully know if I was prepared to give her my whole heart again without some answers and some promises. It wouldn't take much. I'd always been hers; the feeling of her lips on mine just reminded me of that.

And eventually my body and hers reminded us that they needed oxygen. I was convinced that I needed Marissa much more, but it wasn't having any of that. We parted, but we didn't get very far from each other as she rested her forehead on mine.

"I missed you. I've been missing you."

---

**A/N: **Not too bad, I hope. I kinda liked it, hoped you guys did too. My muse has been on hyperdrive lately. Thanks to xxbloodstainedtearsxxx, LivWilde (I totally didn't realize how funny that line actually was until you pointed it out and read it again! I made myself laugh. *says in mystical voice* all will be revealed in time!), and Shelby-WakingTheDemon (actually, that was a terrible pun. You don't have to try and make me feel better, I know it was bad. And yet I still left it. Go figure.) For reviewing!

I'm looking for a couple more reviews each chapter, if you all don't mind. Just let me know you're still interested. If you're reading, drop me a line. They make my day, you know?


	12. Not So Soft

Chapter TWELVE; Not So Soft

---

_You don't know the half of it, Marissa Cooper_, I wanted to tell her. I wanted to just let all of feelings spill out, let the chips fall where they may. At least I could pretend that this had been my opportunity to finally say goodbye properly, to lay the feelings I had for her to rest and get on with my life; to move on, and find someone good for me, if that's what it came down to. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't just hand her my heart again and let her do with it as she may. I wanted to, but something kept me from jumping without the parachute.

This was our new defining moment, and I was going to ruin it. I felt horrible already for even thinking about it, I could imagine how I was going to feel after. But I couldn't be passive. No one could blame me for taking some affirmative action and protecting my heart this time. Not when it had been crushed before.

I took one last long look into those beautiful eyes, slowly returned to my own personal space, and then broke the silence that had fallen between us.

"Marissa, we need to talk about this…" I started, and she groaned.

"Oh, Alex, please no. Please don't ruin it." She lay down in the sand with a huff, her shirt riding up ever so slightly, exposing the section of skin just above the waistline of her shorts. I almost gave in right there, the pout and my desire to run my fingers along her smooth skin almost forcing me to throw being guarded out the window. But I held my ground, somehow.

"We can't rush into this again. Last time-"

"This isn't last time!" She exclaimed exasperatedly from her horizontal position. She wasn't looking at me, which was probably a good thing.

"I know. But you have to take what happened to us before into account before rushing into this all over again. We have to give the trust thing a test drive."

"I trust you." She reached over and took my hand, and I had to take it back. I could see the hurt in her eyes then, and that sent a wrenching pain through my heart.

"You hardly know me."

"I don't have to know you to know that I missed you, Alex. To know that I want to give us another shot! To know that I don't care about rushing, because I'm not going to let us fall apart again."

"Getting to know each other is half the battle."

"You have to start the battle first."

"Why can't we just talk about this? Why do we have to argue?"

"I don't want to argue. All I want is to sleep again, to feel safe again. Alex, I'm safe with you." That one was really a twist of the knife I'd plunged into my own gut. How did you argue with that? How could I deny her anything?

So I didn't, "You don't sleep?"

"No. Not well, anyway."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I've tried everything, but the…" She trailed off.

"The what?"

"Nothing, it's nothing."

I couldn't say it was the best moment to bring it up, but it was just as good as any other. Marissa's drinking was something I was curious _and_ concerned about.

"And all the vodka?"

She sat up, "_All_ the vodka? What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"You had a half empty bottle in your drawer, and you drank enough the other night at the Bait Shop the other night to rival a Russian."

Marissa rolled her eyes, "It was practically a party, Alex. Like I'm supposed to spend the whole night completely sober. You used to think the fact that I could throw down better than any of the Harbor girls was cool.

"Back then I could hide the booze when I thought you were drinking too much."

"Stop making a big deal out of this! You used to drink more than I ever did!"

"We're not talking about me and then, we're talking about you and now. Marissa, I'm concerned."

"What is this, an intervention? Aren't my friends and family supposed to be here? Aren't you all supposed to gang up on me, and tell me with somber faces that you're _concerned_, but only with 'I feel' statements, so as not to upset the alcoholic?" She asked it all in a bitter tone, standing up and dusting the sand off of her legs.

"Is that what you want? Your family and friends to have to tell you? Julie and Jimmy, Seth and Summer, and… and Ryan." I stood too, but didn't bother with the sand. It didn't matter.

She looked at me, anger flashing in her eyes, "That's what this is all about, isn't it? Ryan. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. It was always about Ryan! You made it about Ryan!"

"_I_ made it about Ryan? I could hardly stand the guy! All I wanted was for him to stay away from you, and in the end he was the one you chose!"

"I knew it! You still can't let that go!"

"It's not even about that!"

"_Just_ for the record, that was a mistake. Not that there's any need to justify with you anymore! You'll believe what you want, just like you always do." She started to walk, but I stopped her.

"This isn't about Atwood, this is about you." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Then I don't want to hear it."

"Well you're going to. Marissa, you have a drinking problem."

I think my saying it out loud finally caused her to snap.

"Fine! You want to know why I drink so much. Why I can't sleep? Nightmares. I have nightmares. I see you leaving me there on the beach, I see myself dying in a car crash," She was breaking down, tears welled up and pooled over, "over and over again. The worst things that have happened, that could happen… I see Trey…"

I couldn't do this anymore. I held my arms open for her, thinking I could hold her and make her feel safe like she'd said she wanted.

"Oh, now you want to hug me? Now you want to comfort me instead of being a badass and telling me I have a problem I already knew I had?" She scoffed, looking at me as if this were the stupidest notion on the planet.

"Yes."

"Well it's a little too late," Marissa tried to sound stern, but her voice cracked as she attempted to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Fine. But wouldn't you rather it was me that confronted you about it? Someone who could go away and you'll never have to see again. You could fix it, and no one else would ever have to be concerned about you. They could think you sobered up on your own."

She looked down, and shook her head, "_Definitely_ that's _so_ where my head is right now."

"Sarcasm can't protect you from everything."

"Apparently there are quite a few things I thought could protect me, but can't." I knew those pointy words were aimed at me, and while they made their impact on my impressionable (by Marissa) mind, she managed to get around me and start down the beach.

"Where do you think you're going?" I called after her, but she didn't answer, didn't turn. I could have let her walk, let us both cool down and maybe try to make up for this in the near future. I could have, but chivalry wasn't dead and it wasn't like I'd meant for this to happen.

I rushed after her, "Wait…"

"Go away."

"Make me."

"Look, I really don't need this right now."

_She_ didn't need this? That frustrated me. Between the two of us, I was the one that needed this like I needed a hole in my head.

"I'm sorry I can't just jump back into this like nothing's happened, like you didn't break my heart when you chose Ryan. I think I'm justified to want a little time to make sure that this is going to work. That I don't have to worry about someone else having your heart."

"Didn't I already say that it was a mistake?!" She exclaimed brokenly. Tears spilled over again, and made me feel even worse. Some part of me just wanted to give in, to give her what she wanted, no more questions asked. I had to think about my own well being and peace of mind though. I thought about what Jodie would say. Despite all of her joking, she knew that Marissa had put me through the ringer. She'd be angry if I caved without a semblance of a fight. But then again, she didn't have to deal with the beautiful tragedy that was Marissa Cooper. I couldn't do it anymore. I was fighting a losing battle with my own emotions, and so I simply gave in.

I wrapped my arms around her, giving up but still not ready to get lost again. She tried to get out of it, tried to push me away, but I wasn't having it. I held her until she stopped struggling, and then I let her go. She didn't let me move. She wrapped her arms around my neck, rested her head on my shoulder and cried into my shirt. My arms went around her slight waist, and she shivered.

I rubbed her back slowly, "Riss, its okay."

"Alex… I'm so sorry." She apologized into my neck, and I smoothed her hair with one hand. As much as I hated to admit it, this was my place. I belonged here. In Newport? Maybe not so much. But with Marissa? Undoubtedly. I just didn't know _how_ to be here again, at least not more than I was at that moment. I wasn't the same girl I'd once been. Essentially, sure, but a significant amount of time had passed.

"Lets get you home."

---

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait on this chapter guys, I wasn't really sure what I was writing when I finished the last one. But talk about ask and you shall receive! My reviewers all rock, and as usual I'd like to thank you all for reviewing, including LivWilde (I'm glad you can do it too! Because otherwise I might never notice the funny stuff… It's a possibility that Alex has something to do with the better… what do you think? Haha. I know not of this power you speak of. I certainly don't have one! ;)), tortured2, Shelby-WakingTheDemon (that seems to be most people's sentiment... I didn't keep you all waiting _that_ long, did I?), CustomHeroine (I might have to do that, I didn't even think about it before. I'm glad to know you're reading, and it's awesome of you to drop a line), stacala25 (hooray for new reviewers!), The Night Life 13 (I can't believe you're missing them either! Stop that! However, you're right, you made up for it. And made me hungry for chili fries. Paying me back I suppose…), WonderousPlaceForAnEcho (yeah, I'm not pro at summaries, but hey, thanks for giving this a shot anyway. You wrote a thesis on Buffy? That's amazing!), crooksey18, and apruhl GEE. See you all soon!


	13. Reason Why

Chapter THIRTEEN; Reason Why

---

I drove Marissa home, so reluctant to leave her that I walked her to the door. I knew she wasn't going to ask me to stay again, and I was too much of a coward to ask her if I could- if we could sit down and talk things out. So I let her close the door. I reached out and put my palm on the wood before walking back to the Jeep.

This afternoon had most definitely not been what I expected. Then again, nothing with Marissa was ever really what I expected. She was constantly surprising me. With my beautiful tragedy on the mind, I turned the key in the ignition and my trusty Jeep rumbled to life.

As if today hadn't been enough of a surprise, the song playing from my speakers was enough to stop me like Marissa's words had stopped me on the beach not too long before.

_So, steal the show, and do your best  
To cover the tracks that I have left  
I wish you well and hope you find  
Whatever you're looking for  
The way I might've changed my mind,  
But you only showed me the door_

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best  
We can pat ourselves on the back  
And say that we tried  
Rachael Yamagata.

Either the universe was trying to be ironic, or it was a sign.

I didn't wait for it to finish. I turned the car off, threw the door open and ran up the few steps. I was knocking before I actually stopped moving. Life was all about taking chances…

Right?

Marissa pulled the door open after what seemed like an eternity (but in reality was likely a span of seconds) and my lips were on hers before she could finish the motion. I still wasn't ready and I was still afraid of getting lost, or hurt, or whatever it was, but it didn't matter. I felt like a live wire where our bodies were touching, and I was no longer thinking straight. She could have done whatever she wanted with me just then- I was so wrapped up it wouldn't have mattered- but she pulled away.

She took my hand, looking at me with an almost playful (dead sexy) sparkle in her eyes, and then she said, "I think we should talk."

***

We sat on her couch for hours, and I just let her talk. She told me about when stuff started to go to hell (right about the time Ryan Atwood came around) but stressed that it hadn't exactly been sunshine and puppies before that. She explained how, looking back, Ryan just seemed like the catalyst for what had gone on with her. It wasn't like she could help how she felt about him, and she went into how it had torn her and her then-boyfriend, Luke Ward, apart. Not the _only_ reason, considering he'd been a lying, cheating bastard. But before Ryan she'd never been able to figure that out.

She went into some detail about her dad's embezzlement, and all of the drama that went with that, including Caleb Nichol blackmailing her into living with her mother.

Overdosing in Tijuana. That one scared me a little, I'd admit.

She saw the look on my face, and squeezed my knee, gently running her fingers up my thigh, "That's not even the half of it. Wait until we get to Oliver…"

I was sure I'd dropped a few shades of color, "Oliver?"

"Yes… Can I get you something? Anything?"

I shook my head, "I'm fine, but if you need a break."

"Yeah… this is one of the harder parts." She nodded, pulled me from the couch and led me to the kitchen. I was more than happy to accompany her; I knew she was feeling vulnerable. She was spilling her life story to me- that could make anyone insecure. She opened her pantry, and I wrapped my arms around her from behind, my chin resting on her shoulder as I peered into the cupboard to see if there was anything to change my mind.

Marissa sighed, and I realized what I was doing. I tried to take a step back, blushing profusely, but she grabbed my hands to stop me.

"Don't go anywhere," she said, and I complied until she reached out and grabbed the Oreos and peanut butter.

"Really?" I asked with a laugh.

"Hey, it's comfort food." She laughed and handed me the Oreos with a raise of her eyebrow, daring me to deny her the snack. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't you roll your stupidly beautiful eyes at me, missy. You dip your French fries in shakes," she stuck her tongue out at me.

"You want to lose that tongue?" I asked with an eyebrow raise of my own.

"I think I'll keep it. Need to use it for eating…" she looked me up and down slowly. I could have melted right there on her kitchen floor. It was all about the eyes.

"…peanut butter Oreos." She finished. I almost forgot that Marissa Cooper could be flirtatious as hell.

I retreated to the living room to recover (to cool down). I sat down on the couch again, getting comfortable and opening the Oreos. I shoved a whole one in my mouth just as Marissa walked back into the room.

"That's attractive," she commented.

I chewed and swallowed, "You know you love it."

"What universe do you live in?"

"Don't try and deny it, Cooper. My charms are irresistible."

"Oh yes, I'm completely powerless to resist…" she fell into my lap dramatically, her hand on her forehead, and her eyes on mine.

"Take me, I'm yours," she said huskily, and I could see the lust in my eyes reflected back at me in hers. It had started off as playful, but it took all I had not to take her up on the offer and ravage her right there. I realized that some point my fingers had slid just under the hem of her shirt of their own accord. I was suddenly reminded of a line from a classic that _almost_ made it to my lips.

_As you wish…_ I thought, but outwardly I took my hand back. The air was still charged, but the lust faded (mostly). Marissa grabbed the peanut butter off of the coffee table and settled back into my lap. She looked at me objectively, gauging my reaction. I wasn't complaining. As long as she didn't try to feed me any peanut butter Oreos, if it made her comfortable telling her story from my lap, so be it.

Man, I was weak.

Obviously between the two of us, I was the one powerless to resist the other's charms. I wasn't used to this giving in thing, and I felt guilty, like I was betraying myself or something. I forgot all about that when she started talking again.

"So, after the whole… incident in TJ, my parents decided it would be a good idea to send me to therapy, and that's where I met Oliver Trask…"

***

When Marissa's story was done, I had a new arch enemy. And, as much as I _hated_ to say it, more respect for Ryan Atwood. There was no denying the fact that he had saved Marissa. I think she could feel the sudden hostility emanating from me, though, because she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and said, "Don't worry; he got the help he needed. I haven't heard a peep out of him since the cops hauled him out of the penthouse."

"And I thought I had it rough…" I shook my head. I'd been through a lot, but I couldn't claim to have been held at gunpoint by a psycho.

She yawned, which caused me to yawn too. It wasn't _that_ late, but bearing your entire messed up history to someone could really take it out of you. And we were barely at Marissa's junior year. I still didn't know what had happened after I left. I wasn't sure how she'd gotten out… well, not unscathed, but relatively stable. It was _slightly_ easier for me to understand why she leaned so heavily on Ryan. It made sense, considering he'd been there during the worst patches.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I asked, stretching my arms over my head.

I watched as her eyes dipped down to where her shirt was riding up on me, "I, uh," she faltered, but recovered when I returned my arms to their previous position, "should probably go into the studio tomorrow."

"Oh…" it became apparent that obviously I'd been hoping she didn't have anything to do the next day. That she'd ask me to stay, and we'd get to finish her story in one go. They were irrational hopes, not fair to either one of us….

"You should stay, Alex," she looked at me intently, but then got flustered, "I mean, it would be nice to get another night of actual sleep in, especially because art is so much easier to do when you can actually focus on what you're painting instead of barely being able to keep your eyes open… or so I can imagine."

My eyes widened, "You want me to," I swallowed, "stay?"

"I need you to stay," Marissa's eyes matched mine, "I mean, if you want to."

_If _I wanted to? If?

"I'll stay," I answered after a minute, "but only because you're especially cute when you're asleep." I tacked on.

"Is that the only reason?"

I nodded, "Absolutely. What else would I be staying for? Your snoring?"

"I do _not_ snore!" She hit me in the arm.

"You're kidding me! It's like a freight train! Like a vacuum that's going to suck the room in!"

"Lies!" She exclaimed as she gave me a dirty look.

"Mhm… sure." I agreed, in a not-so-subtle 'whatever you need to believe' tone.

"You're so frustrating!" She said, exasperatedly, "And I do _not_ snore!"

"Yes you do," I said pointedly, "But would you have me any other way?"

"Why? Do you come in different versions? Can I get an upgrade with less sarcasm?"

"Only if I can get one that doesn't snore."

She stood up, and I thought I'd actually gone and made her angry, but she just spread out on the couch with her head in my lap.

She looked up at me with big, puppy dog eyes and an overwhelming pout. She didn't even have to say anything, but I found myself changing my take on this whole conversation.

"Well, you don't really snore. But sleeping with you is like sleeping with a koala bear."

She raised an eyebrow, and I realized the double entendre in my words, but not before she could comment, "You know, that's the first time I've heard _that_ one. I've gotten 'animal in the sack' before, but really…"

_Way to put your foot in your mouth, Kelly_. Marissa was grinning up at me like the Cheshire cat, and I decided that I could play this game without getting embarrassed (at least not outwardly, because inside I was ready to crawl under a rock).

"Have you now?" I asked, feigning innocence.

She looked surprised at the question. She sat back up, sliding over so she was pretty dang close. I could feel the body heat radiating off of her, "I'm sure you remember," she purred and my mouth went dry. Yeah, I had nothing to come back with after that. Mostly because I _did_ remember… and if I got into thinking about it, I was going to need a cold shower.

"Checkmate," she announced smugly. Of course, then I came up with a comeback.

"Well, actually," I looked down, and ran a finger gingerly up her arm, following the line I made with my eyes and eventually moving along to her beautiful face, "I could use a reminder." We really needed to stop playing…

She leaned in, and her nose grazed mine as her fingers drew a line up my thigh. _Damn_ was she _good_ at this game, "Are you _sure_?"

All I had to do was close the (little, tiny) gap between us for the third time that day and we could confirm how accurate my memory was…

Somewhere in the real world a door opened.

"Coop!" Summer yelled, walking in like she owned the place. My eyes flicked up from Marissa's lips to Summer standing in the foyer with her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Oh. My. God. I am averting my eyes!" She exclaimed, and proceeded to turn _and_ shield her eyes with her hands. She nearly walked into the wall trying to walk back out the door she'd come in. Marissa groaned softly, and buried her head in my shoulder for a moment before sliding off the couch.

"Don't be so melodramatic, Summer! Nothing was happening, we were just talking…" She started, walking after her short, brunette best friend who had removed her protective eye-covering so she could walk into the kitchen without any mishaps.

"Sure you were, Coop, because that _definitely_ looked liked talking from where I was standing. God, I feel so violated!"

I could see the look on Marissa's face, even though she'd disappeared into the kitchen. I took stock for a minute, since their conversation had faded into an indiscernible mumble although the occasional sharp word could be picked up.

"Marissa, I'm going to take a shower!" I called loud enough so she could here. I received an "EW!" from Summer in return. I shook my head. I probably could have done without announcing it… but it was too late to take it back now. Summer had the right idea though… after all that, the water would definitely be cold.

---

**A/N: **Gosh I'm glad there's so much work I like to avoid. You guys are probably glad too, considering that's mostly when these chapters get written, haha. Ah! I thank thee, faithful readers! Special shout-outs to; LivWilde (up and left? Hardly! But I could see why you might think that… that last chapter was just a tough one), KSP33 (everyone seems to be real interested in that kid…), Shelby-WakingTheDemon, stacala25 (and reviews make my day! This is really a win-win situation), WonderousPlaceForAnEcho, xxbloodstainedtearsxxx (wow! I'm really sorry to have kept you waiting then! This is the first story I've really been invested in, so I think if I ever decided to give up writing it [which is not likely] I'd at least let you readers know. I'm glad you're enjoying the story), and The Night Life 13 (oh, of course. That dang reality! But what can you do *shrugs* I'd KUH-ILL to make this into a movie! Ohmygosh, I'm imagining being on set with Mischa Barton and Olivia Wilde right now… you don't know what you started…). See you all soon!

-Alexx


	14. In The Margins

Chapter FOURTEEN; In The Margins

---

By the time I was out of the shower Marissa had gotten rid of Summer and had curled up in her bed with a movie on. I stood in the doorway, more interested in her form than the images on the screen. I was there for a while, Marissa's back was to me and since she hadn't said anything I assumed she was asleep or she hadn't heard the door open. The TV cast its warm glow over her and it was one of those moments where a person really appreciates what they have.

"Do you have something against Spiderman, or am I really that interesting?" Marissa finally asked, without moving or averting her attention from the screen.

"Oh no, nothing against Spiderman…" I responded absently, which made her turn to look at me with curiosity.

"Everything okay?" She asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered with a small smile for reassurance. She looked a little skeptical, but the skepticism faded to make room for one of the lowest levels of panic paired with incredulity as I walked across her bedroom towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

"The couch," I responded, pointing in the general direction of her living room. As far as I knew she was sober, and I wasn't aware that sober-Marissa asking me to stay meant the same thing as drunk-Marissa.

She rolled her eyes, "Would you get over here?" She asked, but it was obviously a rhetorical question. I submitted, too tired to really put up much resistance. Her bed was really more alluring than the couch anyway, and not just because she was in it.

I lay down on top of the covers, and Marissa sighed heavily, "It's like trying to put a five year old to bed…" she muttered, then upped the volume because she was talking to me, "Would you just get comfortable, please?" she asked, exasperatedly. I climbed under the covers, even though this was Newport and you hardly needed blankets at all. If it made her happy…

As soon as I got comfortable Marissa moved around until she was snuggled against me, but still in a position to watch the movie. If she was expecting me to object, I didn't live up to the expectation; I just sighed and breathed in the scent that had been surrounding me all day, the scent that was distinctly Marissa. I was glad my salary wasn't paid by moments like these, otherwise I would have been broke, but they were definitely great when they happened.

I tried to pay attention to the movie with no luck; my eyes started getting heavier and heavier. I liked Spiderman well enough, but it wasn't keeping me awake tonight. After a while I realized Marissa wasn't paying much attention to the movie either, but she didn't look all that tired. She looked like she had things running through her head.

"Tell me what's bothering you?" I asked, lazily drawing a circle on her arm with a finger. She turned, managing to maneuver herself so she was wrapped in my arms. She laughed.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Nothing, I'm just remembering my reaction to the last time someone asked me that." Somehow I knew it wasn't a cheery memory, but as long as it wasn't one that made her cry.

"Care to enlighten me?"

"Oh, right," she laughed again, one of my favorite sounds, "it's just… well, the last person to ask me that was my mom. The summer before I met you, when Ryan moved back to Chino," I raised an eyebrow, we hadn't gotten to that part of the story, "I'll tell you after," she interrupted her own sentence, and then continued, "Caleb blackmailed me into living with them, and I was definitely showing how pissed off I was about that _and_ Ryan being gone all summer. So I'm supposed to go to Cardio Bar with her one afternoon, but I totally blew it off and was tanning by the pool when she decides to get all demanding and psycho on me, and commands me to tell her what's bothering me."

I listened intently, not quite seeing the part of this that had her laughing- she gave me a look that clearly told me to be patient. "So I ask her if she really wants to know, and she says she does, and the only thing I can think to do to get what I'm feeling across to the mother from hell is to scream. So I do, and I toss the lawn chair I was sitting on into the pool, and basically made her think I was the devil's spawn, which really isn't that far off."

She laughed again, and this time I joined in with a light chuckle of my own. I could definitely envision Marissa throwing a tantrum that would put elementary school children to shame.

"I don't know how you did it…" I mused, playing with her hair.

"Just a lift and a toss, really…" She said with a smirk.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah…" She yawned and closed her eyes, "but I think you get it more than you let on. I can see it in your eyes, Alex Kelly. And you're so strong…" The end of the sentence was muddled as she drifted off. She could see it in my eyes, huh? Guess that at least meant she was paying attention. Her breathing turned into a slow, even rhythm and mine matched it soon after.

***

_There's a chance, one of us will give in soon  
I could ask, but what's an answer gonna prove?  
I try to get mad, but the fever drops_

I could hear the music playing loudly somewhere near my head, but I was pretending it didn't exist. It couldn't be time to get up yet, it just couldn't.

_My heart can't break 'cause the beating stops  
Yeah, suck that lucky feeling right outta me.  
Wanna laugh? Take a look around the room  
It's a dance, tired steps in brand new shoes_

If Marissa wasn't getting up, than neither was I, and she seemed to be pretending the same thing I was….

_I can only take a guess what the morning brings  
If it feels too good, then it probably is.  
Yeah, suck that lucky feeling right outta me_

Well, until she groaned into my ear and stretched.

_I follow your sign, where it leads I go.  
But you turned your back so easily,  
It tells me everything I need, yeah._

It looked like it was time to get up, so I reached over and hit the alarm clock to shut it up.

"Jesus, Kelly, don't you ever go home?" Marissa asked, and I shook my head.

"Nope, never…" I mumbled, and tried to turn over and go back to sleep but Marissa decided to prevent me from doing so by straddling my waist. I opened my eyes quickly to find her sitting there attempting to look completely innocent.

"Uhm… Hey." I really needed to work on this speech thing.

Marissa stretched her arms over her head, "Good morning!" She announced brightly and I gave up trying to be good _again_. I ran my hands up her legs to her waist and around to the small of her back, simultaneously doing a sit-up to kiss her on those tempting lips.

Holding true to her uncanny ability to surprise me at every turn, she pushed me back onto the bed with a shove to my shoulders, "_What_ was _that_ all about?" She asked, like it had been a moment of temporary insanity on my part. Maybe it _was_ a moment of temporary insanity on my part…

"You never seem to realize just how sexy you are, Marissa Cooper."

She broke out into a smile, "I guess that was a good enough answer." She leaned forward to kiss me, and everything was on fire. We were doomed though, I think, to never have a moment of peace because I went from being on fire to ice cold as Marissa hopped off of the bed.

I frowned, "Where do you think you're going?" I slid out of bed in time to wrap my arms around her waist before she got too far. While she was formulating an answer, I placed a kiss on her neck. I was fully aware that it seemed like I was playing hot and cold here, but when I decided to give in, I'd really decided to give in. It wasn't like there had been much of a fight in the first place, but I certainly didn't need that justification. These stolen moments had been the best I'd had in a while. Better than girls I'd picked up, better than flings, better than sleeping with my personal assistant(s), better than… breathing? No, perhaps not better than that, but somewhere close up there. Marissa was _home_. Marissa was love. How long could I have fought that anyway? Even with the constant threat that there was a possibility she could shatter my heart again.

In some two seconds, I'd decided it was all worth it. It wasn't rational, but nothing in love, real love, was ever rational. Was it? I didn't need her to love me the same way back, but I'd be ecstatic if she decided she did. The harsh reality that I was leaving at the end of the week did not set in. It didn't even come to a threatening stand-still in my conscious mind. Let it come! I felt as fearless as Romeo at Juliet's window, well within reach of his dreaded enemies the Capulets, and yet caring not of what would happen to him, only that he got to spend his last moments with the woman he loved.

My was I poetic in the morning. Or maybe it was Marissa's influence.

"As much as I'd _love_ to give in to this _fun_ turn of events, Summer is going to be here any minute. And do we really want a repeat of yesterday?"

"It's _just_ Summer…" I commented, and, as if on cue, the telephone rang. I released my hold on Marissa with one hand to grab the phone and answer it.

"Marissa Cooper is busy at the moment, but you can call back later."

"I am _not_ calling back later! Jesus, Kelly, don't you ever go home?!"

"You know, I get the weirdest sense of déjà vu when you ask that question, Summer…"

"Look, I'm outside Coop's front door, so you two need to stop doing whatever you're doing _before_ I come in, because I've already been violated enough by you two lesbians!"

I laughed at that statement, which prompted, "Did I ever tell you about my rage blackouts?"

"I think you might have neglected to mention them."

"I'm coming in."

"I'm going to take off Marissa's shirt…" Marissa shot me a look over her shoulder and I just smiled, shrugged, and played with her shirt hem.

"I'll buy you two breakfast!"

"Deal." I grinned, hung up and put the phone back, and let go of Marissa but not before kissing her on the cheek, "Gosh, Riss, don't you know we have a breakfast with our best friend to get to?"

She pouted, "You gave in for breakfast?"

"_Free _breakfast."

"… _Our_ best friend?"

"Did I mention the free part of this breakfast?"

"It's not like you can't afford it…"

"I'm just a big fan of things I don't have to pay for."

"You don't have to pay for," she pinned me to the wall with her body and a kiss, "this."

"God, can't you two save a girl the trouble of wishing she could get her memory erased? It's like walking into an episode of the L Word every time I come over here." Summer peeked out from behind her hand shield, "Coop, you're not even wearing pants!"

Marissa took a step back, blushing and looking downright sheepish, but she didn't make the move to get dressed. Summer sighed dramatically, and stomped around, opening up Marissa's dresser and pulling out a pair of pants (which she promptly threw at Marissa's head) and a pair of shorts (longer than Marissa's had been yesterday, which were aimed at me). She proceeded around the room, chucking clothes at us until she was satisfied that as soon as we put them on we would be fully dressed.

I caught the black shirt she tossed at me, and looked at it. It was my old CBGB shirt that I'd lent to Marissa once upon a time, "You were supposed to wash and return this like, years ago," I laughed, and Marissa just blushed a deeper shade of scarlet.

"Sorry?" She offered, and then the Nazi-once-called-Summer was on our cases again.

"Don't just stand there, get moving! I'm _starving_! Kelly, bathroom, Coop, out here. Move!"

I saluted her sarcastically, but retreated to the bathroom to change all the same. I closed the door behind me, and set the assortment of my-size Marissa clothes on the counter when something came to me.

I stuck my head out the door, "Summer, how do you know anything about the L Word?" I asked curiously.

"I research!" She responded, and I raised an eyebrow at Marissa. We both started laughing. This whole morning was insane!

Summer shook her head, pushed mine back in the bathroom, and pulled the door shut.

"You're still buying breakfast!" I called.

"Over my dead body! You two broke the pact!"

"That could be arranged!"

"You are _not_ killing my best friend!" Marissa chimed in.

"Yes dear."

"Way to keep your girl in check, Coop!" There was the sound of high-fiving.

"You two better not be high fiving in there!"

"What happens in Coop's room stays in Coop's room!"

"Good to know!"

I could hear Summer's faux retches even with the door closed. Breakfast was going to be fun.

---

**A/N:** Fourteen chapters and still writing… I think this is a record for me! It must have something to do with the amazingness of Malex. Shout outs to; tortured2, LivWilde (I am _so_ glad that I didn't let you down! And for serious about the writers giving Marissa _all_ the bad stuff in the whole world, it was ridiculous! I dunno… for some reason I think I'd put money down on Marissa winning "the game."), Shelby-WakingTheDemon (no need to apologize for hyperness! Happens to me all the time. So you see all the exclaimations?!), WonderousPlaceForAnEcho, stacala25 (Oliver Trask = creep! But I think I did kinda like him, at one point), teriyakiskater, Rajuu, xxbloodstainedtearsxxx, and The Night Life 13 (MY GOD! It's a shame I'm broke too! Gosh… I wish I could go! That would be such an amazing thing to say I've done! Meet the actors of House [mostly just Olivia, Hugh, and Jennifer XP]. Glad you liked the chapter!)

Cross your fingers for me, faithful readers? I took a big test Friday, and I have another Wednesday. With all your luck I just might (have) pass(ed)! See you soon!

-Alexx


	15. I Belong To You

Chapter FIFTEEN; I Belong To You

---

I was pretty sure I'd read the words "blueberry pancake special" a total of eleven times, and it had nothing to do with the development of a sudden blueberry craving, and everything to do with the fact that I was trying to keep my eyes off of Marissa.

Summer had insisted on the two of us sitting across from one another.

"Then I don't have to worry about what you two are doing with your hands," she informed us with a slight shiver, as if her imagination had decided to take her places she didn't want to go. I have to admit I was a little disappointed when Marissa didn't object… not that I'd been planning on assaulting her during breakfast or anything like that. If eye-sex counted, I was keeping that to the bare minimum, hence my final decision on what to order.

This diner was familiar, on the pier and not that far from the Bait Shop. Marissa and Summer were regulars, and it wasn't long before our waitress appeared and promptly asked what she could get us. Summer was rattling off her order before either of us could get a word out.

"And for you?" the waitress asked Marissa, quite obviously checking her out, though whether it was because she was interested, or because Marissa was just one of those girls other chicks envied, I didn't know.

"Bacon and eggs sounds great," she flashed the waitress a smile and handed over the menu she'd hardly looked at.

I opened my mouth to order, the short sentence already formulated in my head, but shut it immediately to stop any kind of inappropriate noise from leaving my mouth as Marissa's foot made its way slowly up my leg. My eyes found her, and she looked much too casual sitting there giving me a heart attack than anyone had a right to look.

"She'll have the French toast," she ordered for me, her toes found their way past the cuff of my shorts, and I wasn't really in the state to argue until Marissa's second order was already in the woman's little black book, and she was off.

When everything was back under control, the shock having worn off, I raised an eyebrow, "Ordering for me?"

"For me actually, but I guess you can have some…"

"That waitress was hot," Summer piped up all too casually from her seat next to Marissa and we ceased our conversation to look at her as if she'd grown a second head.

"…What?! I'm just trying to make conversation you can both relate to."

"And that's what you decided to go with?" I asked with a laugh.

Summer glared at me, and then turned to Marissa, "Help me out here, Coop!"

Marissa leaned forward, craning her neck a little to heck out the waitress who was just disappearing into the back. "Definitely hot. Don't you think, Alex?"

My "I didn't notice" didn't please Summer.

"What kind of lesbian are you?" She asked, very seriously.

"Actually, she's bisexual," Marissa corrected.

"And taken," I added.

"You have some girl back home that I don't know about?" Marissa asked, raising an eyebrow, clearly mimicking me.

"Ouch, Cooper, that was cold," I placed a hand over my heart, and leaned back into the booth, looking hurt and defeated.

"You didn't answer the question," Summer was quick to point out, "Do you have a girlfriend back… wherever it is you wandered in from?" She narrowed her eyes, as if daring me to say yes.

"Actually, I have two." My answer earned me a swift kick under the table that had me briefly wondering if Marissa had played soccer at some point in her life. At least until I remembered that Newport princesses playing contact sports was something simply frowned upon. My shin was going to be sporting a bruise later, given that she'd been sure to slip her shoe back on.

"Oh?" She asked.

"Maybe I embellished a little," I conceded, sliding my hand down to rub the spot she'd kicked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Summer. They were tag-teaming me.

"I'm not seeing anyone," I clarified.

"Oh?" Marissa asked again, and I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say.

"Am I?" I asked, feeling as if I'd just been talked in a rather large circle, or like I was watching an episode of the Gilmore Girls, where they all talked so fast that I ended up needing a drink if I even wanted to think about deciphering the dialogue.

"Uh, hello! You're dating Coop," Summer shook her head, looking a Marissa, her eyes asking _is she this easily confused all the time?_

"I'm pretty sure that wasn't the original question," I countered.

"It wasn't. They asked if you were seeing anyone back home," a third voice chimed in from the right. Folding up a newspaper and taking a sip out of his mug as if he was at home in the living room, Seth Cohen made his presence known in a particularly suave way for someone as dorky as Seth.

"You're such a stalker, Cohen," Summer rolled her eyes at her husband, and it was like they were all back in high school for a moment. I suddenly felt out of place, or like I was taking someone's place. Though I was thankful for the backup, Seth's presence (as he was now sitting next to me at our table) made me think of Ryan and how he completed this group, not me.

I think Seth sensed my distress, he'd always been sort of an oblivious guy, but the fact that he'd nabbed his girl seemed to have given him more of an opportunity to focus on other people's feelings.

"Summer, honey," he looked at his watch, "we have to see a guy, about a thing," he nodded in the direction of the door.

"But, breakfast!" Summer looked firmly planted in her seat.

"Already taken care of," he promised, and she gave him a look that read as _you really think I'm going to leave these two here alone?_ His responding look said, _of course you are!_ Though admittedly less effective than had they been having this conversation in opposite positions. Seth's inner voice still sounded eight and three fourths, or so I imagined.

It took a pout to get her out of her seat, "We have to see a guy about a thing," she said to Marissa, who laughed.

"Gee guys, you could be a little less subtle," she rolled her eyes.

"We're going to go elsewhere so you two can get your mack on."

"Thanks for clearing that up, Seth."

"You know, Alex, I never understood why you and Ryan didn't get along…"

"Okay, time to go, husband of mine who talks too much," Summer actually smiled apologetically at me, and I wondered what Marissa had said about me and my issues with Ryan over the years, because I knew there hadn't been opportunities in the past couple of days.

"Seriously though, I mean they have the same sense of humor, the same taste in women…" I could hear bits of their conversation as they walked away.

"I think their similar taste in women was the problem." Summer concluded, and Seth's reply was muted by glass door shutting behind them.

Marissa and I looked at each other, "Well that was…" she started.

"Interesting," I finished for her as our waitress appeared with our order.

Setting the plates down in front of us, she asked, "Where's your friend?" referring to Summer as she set the final plate down in the spot Summer had just vacated.

"She had to see a guy about a thing," I answered, and it sounded so ridiculous that Marissa and I couldn't keep from laughing.

---

**A/N: **Wow, it's been forever and a day since I last updated this story. So, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for that. Here's to hoping that after months of hiatus, you guys will still be interested in reading. This is the first time I've ever come back to a story that I got too busy to write so I hope this chapter's satisfactory!

-Alexx


End file.
